They could be after my disability

I’ve been too cocky, flaunting my meagre intellectual powers. But they’re not the kind of skills that can help me get a job. If I was able to socialize I might could parlez my way to a job, but I am dysfunctional socially. I keep completely to myself. I lack all practical skills. I’ve been on the internet for almost a decade, and I still don’t know how to send an e-mail. I have back trouble that would probably keep me away from physical work. I can mow one small lawn, and I’m already reaching the limits of my tolerance for pain. I used to clean the bathrooms at the clubhouse, and I was reaching the limits of my tolerance for pain then. Who knows, maybe it would be for the best for me to go out and find my own way. I couldn’t take my med’s though, because they make me more susceptible to hyperthermia in summer and hypothermia in winter. I can’t apply for a job saying "I can only work when the temperature is above 40 and 70 degrees. I don’t know. Maybe it will be better if I try something different.

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There are free online courses to learn computer skills. You could start by taking those kinds of free classes on the internet

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IDK, just keep your eyes and ears open for opportunities.
When opportunity knocks, be ready.
Life is weird, you never know what’s going to change your life or who’s going to come into your life. Hell, I got a plumb job. It’s easy and pays well. I just kind of applied 8 or 9 years ago at my therapists suggestion and got hired on.

At first it was difficult and all business, no talking or fooling around but when a new company took over our contract it got easier and more relaxed. It would be difficult (but not impossible) to find another job where I can work so slow and get away with certain things. I do my best but I’m slow. But so is everyone else there, lol. On our five man crew we gotta guy who talks to himself, a 70 year old ex-biker ex-con, a difficult complainer who talks behind everyone’s back, a new guy who wants a little power because he works full time and we all work part time, and a perpetually grumpy guy my age and me.

It’s an odd assortment, the ex-con is the only one who isn’t disabled. I don’t want to know anyone’s secret’s but the new full time guy portrays himself as “normal” but he keeps letting little hints slip out that he is disabled too. It ain’t none of my business.
But, this ain’t about me. I’m just trying to say that you never know how a job is going to go. Sometimes out of the blue you can find jobs that are good fits.

Our company hires veterans and the disabled. Maybe there’s some place near you that does the same. It’s a nice company with nice people who really bend over backwards to accommodate all our disabilities and problems. I used to be scheduled to be to work at 8:30 am. But I was late almost every day so they changed my hours and now I don’t have to be there until 10:00 am. I get to take my lunch by myself in my car and listen to the radio. We get to take little rests.

I mean there’s two schools of thought. You can wait for a job like mine to fall in your lap or you can be proactive and make something happen and go looking for it, maybe with a counselor or therapists help.

I ain’t the most social, I have many jobs where I barely talked to anyone. I worked three years at Kohl’s unloading trucks and stocking shelves. I worked with some of the same people for three years and didn’t talk to them at break or lunch. Just kept to myself.

I worked at Target for 8 months on graveyard and barely talked to anyone. It’s amazing I got away with that but I wasn’t hired to talk, I was hired to work. At my current job I’m comfortable and I have a little rapport going with lots of people.

I’m paying for my sedentary lifestyle, I suffer from fatigue so by lunchtime I’m pretty beat and the rest of the day I’m dragging myself around until I get off at 4:00 pm.

Anyways, I’m just saying that there’s jobs out there that give you leeway. It isn’t all just back breaking work for 6 or 7 hours solid with no talking or resting. It isn’t like you have to be active every second, going at full speed. When I was at Kohls in my fifties all my co-workers talked and joked around all day. People would stop and talk or rest for a minute if they needed to.

Anyways, I’m tired, got to get to bed. But I think you see my points.


man, I know I can’t work…I tried…each time I tried I tried to take my life because I failed…don’t do it crimby…you can be happy right where you are.

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