The Shadows are telling me who’s going to die next if I stick around. First it’s going to be AS (I’m just going to put initials) then MR, then GR, then JS, then LD. They are saying that after those people all of my close friends then it’s going to be my family. I don’t want to cause anymore deaths I don’t want anymore blood on my hands. I’m sorry some of you have already talked to me about this multiple times but every time I try to wipe these thoughts away they just smear. They stain my mind like ink spots. I packed extra clothes in my backpack and brought them to school, so that if I decide to not go home I shouldn’t get to cold. I also brought money too. I don’t want to keep killing and hurting my friends. My hands are already stained with the blood of two people because I didn’t leave when the Shadows told me to. I just don’t want to hurt them anymore.
I’m sorry you’re suffering from delusions. Have you told your parents about your delusions? If not, you should, so that you’ll have someone to guide you when you seek professional help.
I hope you feel better soon.
Having those thoughts doesn’t mean you have to do anything. It feels very real and because you’re kind you don’t want to cause harm. Nothing wrong with that thought. But go home and tell your parents what you’re experiencing.
I have never stopped the voices I hear from telling me all kinds of things. What I have stopped is my reaction to them. You don’t have to do anything except get help for yourself.
I don’t know how to talk to my parents. I don’t even know if they’ll bring me into a doctor. Last time I talked to them they made it sound like if I said I wanted to go to a doctor that I would just be an attention seeker, who just wants medication pumped into her because she wants to be like all the other kids that have to take medication, so when they asked me if I wanted to try other things such as reading the bible every night first I said yes because I didn’t want them to think I’m an attention seeker. I’m afraid that they won’t believe me, or that they’ll call me silly for believing things that can’t possibly be real. I’m just so afraid right now.
I understand your fear, but to be fair to your parents why not tell them what you’re experiencing? You don’t want to cut your parents out of your life only to blame them for not being there.
It is scary, but it’s a conversation that you need to have.
Sz isn’t funny. I feel obliged to try to help u since u r just a child. U have nothing to lose by telling ur parents what is going on in ur head. If anything you will either be deemed normal by doc or be prescribed meds to make the delusions go away which would be for the better. It’s the only safe thing to do. I wish I had been compliant since 19, the delusions seem to only make you do crazier and crazier things as time untreated goes on. I hope u are stable asap and in the future because down the road that gives u the best shot at living a normal life, u shouldn’t ignore the problem.
Best,
esm
@kindness I should have told them by now. I’m not trying to be unfair. I just don’t know how to talk to them. Whenever I try to the words sound fine in my mind I know how I want it to sound but it never seems to come out right. I’m sorry I know I’m probably just pushing your help away and that I’m being difficult. I just I don’t know.
@Esm It’s like what I said to kindness I just don’t know how to talk and how to word things.
Frist off the shadow talk to be fair crap and lies. Secondly you are not going to harm or have blood on your hands like others here I had years old fighting with thoughts and wings telling this.
I ran and it was bad very bad I was younger than you when I ran and I got mixed up with some out right evil people.
Go home be safe after school or to a friends some where your safe.
Knowing, feeling what is told to you by the shadows is not real is hard we all know that is how you react deal and cope with them
You can I know you can.
For ignoring them you can try writing down what is said them throwing it away as to go your thoughts are not worth a thing to me! And bin them.
What the shadows want to is harm you by running by staying safe at home school and family and friends is not giving what the shadows want.
I stand with you and tell the shadow to go jump as others will too you are not alone in is.
No, you’re not pushing my help away nor being difficult. I realize how difficult the situation is for you, so I’m not going anywhere. I’m going to continue to be supportive, and, hopefully, you’ll reach a place where you’ll feel comfortable seeking any professional help that you may need.
This is the effect of homelessness on the human body. And these are more positive scenarios. You can literally die after one night on the streets.
This could be helpful actually. How I gained insight into my disorder was when my friend pointed out the thing the demons said they were going to do and the things I said were going to happen didn’t happen. So you’ll see when no one dies that it’s all a lie…what you have to be careful of is making up more lies to explain why they didn’t die.
Also I know it can be really hard to stand up to your parents at your age but until you do nothing’s going to change for you. I told you before that a therapist is different from a doctor and will not give you meds, but can help you. Look into it. You can also see your school counselor/psychologist without your parents knowing, which is what I had to do before my parents understood.
I won’t go away. I’m going to go straight home. I’m not going to go do my locker to get my extra jacket. I’m going to go straight to my bus then I’m going to go straight to my house. After that I am going to talk to my parents because this is the closest I’ve gotten to actually doing something like this. I had it planned too. I’m sorry.