The voices in my head are saying I should be on this site, they don’t like me talking about my illness. They also don’t like me doing my blog, because they tell me I’m not expert on Schizophrenia, I’m just suffering through it. If I’m not on that much lately it is because the voices are too strong, I try to fight them off and do it anyway, like I still wrote a new blog post today, and I’ve been on the site for a bit now this evening. But it’s hard to concentrate with the noise.
Also I’ve been fighting a very annoying listless mood all day today. I couldn’t get motivated to do anything. I know it was a nice break from being overly depressed like I have been. But still isn’t there an in-between from depressed and completely emotionless? Maybe I’ve just burnt out from the depression and its my body trying to find balance, I don’t know.
sorry your voices are bad hunni. please try not to listen to them and come on anyway. arseholes that they are! hope you feel better soon xxx
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I’m glad your here and I’m glad your fighting them.
You don’t have to be an expert on Sz to know how you feel or know how hard to work to concentrate over them.
Depression does take a lot of energy out of me and it’s hard to recharge that energy. Keep fighting and posting and eventually they will have to give up.
headphones and blasting music can helps sometimes hand in there tc
I`m glad you are fighting through it OO
@sohare1981 As to your blog, you may not be a doctor or therapist but I wouldn’t say you aren’t an expert on schizophrenia. You have a very special insight that doctors and therapists do not have. You have first hand experience.
Bud give “What is schizophrenia?” a read it might explain sum stuff for you. Its one of my posts
I’m worried tonight, they’re being negative. I’ve tried pushing them away from my thoughts but my mood has greatly plummeted since this afternoon. I’m feeling frustrated, worthless, and helpless. I read about Robin Williams death and that made me even more depressed, Listening to the local news about a cop that shot an unarmed teenager that led to a full on riot last night didn’t help my moods either. People were looting stores, and they burned down a quick trip while employees were still at work…and more protests happened today. I’m not exactly near the area that this is happening, I live about 19 miles away from Ferguson MO where the incident happened. I need to find something to distract my negative thoughts for a while…
@sohare1981
I’m sorry you are having so much trouble.
Do you have some favorite coping mechanisms when you are having trouble? Personally I like meditating. Before I started meditating, I would go into my room, turn off the lights (it is always pretty dark. It’s basically a cave lol) and listen to some music. The opposite sometimes works as well, trying to keep yourself busy with a favorite hobby.
I’ve found that overexposure to popular media like news can exacerbate my paranoia. When I start fixating on something, I need to remove myself from the source. The news can be a trigger for me too. I sometimes have to go several days intentionally not watching it. Is there someone, a loved one, you can talk to about this? It may not be able to help with the voices but having someone listen to you kindly, even when they can’t directly help, may help with the anxiety.
that’s what my writing does. but I think news it a bit triggering too, I mean so much negativity happening. Maybe I should take a break from it from a while and focus on reading and writing. The anxiety isn’t high today, it’s more my depression and I hate physically talking about it, I don’t know why. I guess talking about it out loud makes me admit more than I want too, and it stresses me out even more. I wrote a good blog post on my blog this evening (My blog link is in my profile) and it seemed to relieve some tension. I’m thinking about putting in a Disney movie, or watching two if I’m up to it. something to make me a little more happier.
What is your favorite Disney movie? Mine is actually Aladdin. I’d sort of want to watch it to celebrate Robin William’s life. That way I’d be reminding myself of all the good he did and all the joy he brought to the world.
He was hurting and he made a choice. In my opinion it was a bad choice. I can understand it. I’ve been there myself. But his life is so much more than one bad choice. It also kind of reminds me that he is like us. He may not be schizophrenic but he had severe depression and was addicted to drugs. I’ve been thinking of what I would say to him if I had the chance and how I would try to convince him that things can be okay again. I could kind of imagine watching Aladdin with him and tell him how much joy he brought to a fat, weird little kid.
I hope saying that was okay and didn’t make it worse for you.
Mmm. favorite Disney movie. I have a list of my favorites if I were to pick one for the top I think the Little Mermaid.
I also like (In no order): the Mighty Ducks 1 & 2 (I thought third one was lame), Finding Nemo, Alice in wonder (Johnny Depp), Cinderella, Aladdin, Lion King Beauty and the Beast, Hocus Pocus, Pocahontas
I love Hocus Pocus. It’s the only movie with Sarah Jessica Parker I will willingly watch. Yet it reminds me of the dark times when I was forced to watch Sex and the City 
For me watching a Johnny Depp movie is worth it just to see Johnny Depp. He is just so fun to watch on screen even if the movie isn’t that good.
I don’t mind Sarah Jessica Parker. She’s not a favorite, she disappeared from acting (like decided to retire from public spotlight, not like having something bad happen to her) I don’t think I’d miss her much. I did love Sex and the City, though I own the series and both movies…but it wasn’t because of Sarah Jessica,
I liked the series in general…thought it was a bit empowering to women, women out on their own doing their own thing and only having men around because they wanted them not because they needed them. Then I loved how Carrie would spend like $400 on a pair of strappy sandles then go to a thrift store and pair them with a $10 t-shirt…and I could find myself in a bit each of the four women. But that’s just me. To each their own I guess.
I’m not saying Sex and the City is intrinsically bad. The acting and production was done well. It just isn’t for me. There weren’t enough car chases, explosions, or aliens. I’ve never really looked at it from the female empowerment angle. I guess that is true.