The visit occurred yesterday. My dad hardly asked how my brother and I were and what we were doing. Much of the time was spent regaling us with the famous/important people he’d met in New York who went to his old school or telling us about our practically perfect step niece. My stepmother spent 90% of the time texting and talking on her mobile to her daughter in America about (a) the organisation of a plastic surgeon’s conference her daughter had taken over from her and (b) the naff money making scheme she,my step brother and sister have set up http://shakespearesez.com/
90% of the time my stepbrother was either talking to my stepmother about (a) and (b) because he’s the supposed computer whizz for both or on his laptop trying to sort a technical issue with (a) or (b).
My stepbrother’s wife talked to me a bit was preoccupied with her 4 year old son .
My brother and I were embarrassed because my stepmother decided we’d stay sitting in the cafe/bistro long after we’d finished our meal while she conducted her business and although there were other people there it was obvious to tell by that time it was staff and friends of staff.
Then my stepbrother and his wife said they had to go off and meet someone for dinner so my stepbrother’s wife buggered off with her son. The stepbrother drove my father/stepmother/brother/and I into the centre of town before resuming on his computer and then seeing his wife’s friend. Considering this was the first time I had seen the stepbrother etc the polite thing would have been to see their friend on another day and in fact it would have been polite not to be trying to sort the conference/money making scheme hiccups and leaving that for after seeing my brother and I.
By the time we got a few hours alone with my dad and stepmother we were rather disgruntled and felt like also rans and still there wasn’t really any enquiry as to how we were etc.
Our stepbrother pissed my brother off for basically saying my dad was getting old and we didn’t see him enough. Both of us are disabled and can’t afford/aren’t able to globe trot like the rest of them. Also my dad decided to settle in the States after he took early retirement in 85(his right) but then no one has any right to say we don’t see him more. If my dad had really been concerned about that he’d have come back to live in the UK.
We got home around 9.40 and spent till nearly 8 dissecting the days events and both of us,especially my brother,getting more pissed off and stressed.
Still we did our duty as expected and now the caravan rolls onto Warwickshire where they all going for a few days as (a) my father is attending an old boy’s do in Birmingham and (b) my stepmother wants to explore Shakespeare country and go to the Globe in Stratford upon Avon.
All in all it really cemented that my brother and I are way down the family list . If only I’d stayed well and married an army colonel/brigadier’s daughter…
Ah well, you got closer to your own brother in adversity! There’s a blessing in everything!
At least it’s over now. They really shouldn’t have complained about you not visiting your dad enough. It sounds like they’re totally immersed in being the typical modern vanity family.
You should know that you’re a decent person who has friends and has accomplished coping with some difficult problems. You’ll feel better once things have calmed down.
No family is perfect @firemonkey - My brother calls me up to complain about his wife and basically asks me his advice, when I gave it to him straight, he does not like it and ends the conversation with anger. I should of known better than to fall into his trap. You are a good guy firemonkey, who happens to have a typical family - no family is perfect, keep reminding yourself of this
I"m sorry that visit went pear shaped. Maybe now you and your brother can keep a friendship going since you and he had a chance to talk after the visit.
I agree, giving you grief because you can’t travel was well out of line.
I hope you feel better soon and I really hope your brother doesn’t go back into hiding.
I hope so too. I think some calls he just doesn’t hear as he has the ring volume on his phone turned down which I got the impression was paranoia related . He said he’d been out of sorts for the last 6 months or so.