The temptation to withdraw

Most of my interaction with other people is online. Very little occurs offline beyond that with my stepfamily who live near me.
I have always been quite asocial. Trying to show willing by socially interacting,as it’s championed as being good for your mental health, has not been anything like successful.

Online I see myself as less of an outsider, but only in comparative terms. The best that can be said is that I fit in better in some online places compared to others. This is one of them .

I did get some satisfaction in being part of a high IQ group on Facebook , but am going through a ‘it would be very tempting to withdraw from it’ phase .That’s due to a mix of disillusionment, lack of self worth, insecurity and a heavy dose of imposter syndrome… There are several online forums I’ve very significantly reduced my participation on .


isolation during all this pandemic has been awful,
and I can barely stand it anymore!
and my mother won’t let me come over to see my son!
I miss our poetry readings with my friends
and I don’t even know if our Left Bank is open any longer.
things are never going to be the same.

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@firemonkey I think it is natural for anyone to feel more of a drive to be social at some times than others, to an extent. But since you are isolating due to anxieties, rather than boredom, I will say you are a very intelligent and valuable member of this community and I am personally glad you are here.

@Daze. I am feeling the strain of isolation, too. Hoping we can all get out to see our loved ones soon, it really isn’t good for anyone to be stuck home alone all the time.


You’re a great guy with a lot to offer @firemonkey I can tell by your online presence and our paths crossing here on several occasions that you’re genuine and a good person.

Some of us can only find like-minded people online as we fit into a diaspora (Not in the Jewish sense, but just the fact we’re all over the place and scattered - couldn’t think of a more fitting way to describe it!)

Withdrawing from IRL social interaction may well not be conducive to better mental health, but you must remember how much burden IRL connections are with other people. These types of friendships are so hard to maintain.

I don’t know about you, but I much prefer written communication, as online I can be more considerate and get my point across much better.

Keep going man, you’re a valued member here and I am sure in other places too


@Ninjastar Thanks. My drive to be social has never been high at the best of times.

Some comments from my sister:

Tim was always very shy and quiet, and did not typically join in play with our other brother and me - I think partly because he did not seem to be able to engage in imaginary play, and found it difficult to truly ‘play’ as we did. To be honest I don’t know how much it ever really bothered him - I don’t ever recall him asking to join in, he seems much happier to do his own thing.

Tim was not confident in engaging with people he did not know. This combined with his physical awkwardness meant he was never as I recall very social at all. I also think that Tim had a difficult time in ‘reading’ the emotions or feelings or reactions other people outside of the immediate family. He had no close friends in childhood or his teenage years that I am aware of.
When he was home from boarding school Tim again preferred to spend much of his time alone.

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I value you Firemonkey.


i’m mostly by myself… but i live with my parents so i see somebody ever day but if i would have been living by myself i would be really on my own…

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I think you are kind and valuable @firemonkey.

I also have a tendency to withdraw. There were times when i tried to hide how introverted and socially anxious i was, and i pretended to be social. Now im okay with being alone a lot. I would like to have more deep friendships, but i dont think i am made for a busy social life.

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