The reason I hate my sister?

So, I’ve been trying to get to grips with a situation and I have decided to ask u lovely people as I always try to do things alone and lately have leaned more to opening up, here goes. I have always gotten along with my sister besides some bullying and tormenting as children (quite a bit tbh she was mean to me, told me lies that I would die because of swallowing toothpaste or gum, that my mum had died in a car crash or the fact she called me a lesbian from ages 5 to 12 because I had ONE best friend, I even had a relationship with a girl at 15 because I thought I was gay… I found out I wasn’t and broke my then best friend and lovers heart because it wasn’t my thing after a test drive) anyway that aside we had put differences from our childhood aside, as in I forgave her for being awful and we were close, very close. Then my father passed away very suddenly and we were exposed and in the cold, the death was difficult in the ways that I was next of kin and had to turn off his life support, she grew bitter about our relationship but kept it quiet at the time. After this time period things really broke down. Meanwhile Her husband Ben had been and issue with me for a while outside of the death of our father. Touching me inappropriately or hugging me alot , bare in mind I don’t like this person… Or hugging… and never really have, I thought it unusual but carried on brushing
him of or avoiding him. Now things get weird, Ben, while I was in psychosis, created a profile for his cat on FB and posted this “I love nothing more than fresh fetus for breakfast”. Now I thought this odd when I saw it on my sisters TV, very much so, but even odder when Ben immediately blamed me? “You wrote that post” they both told me, and I knew I had not, not one bit, Ben had done it to make me seem crazy but what’s funny is I know myself in psychosis and I would not have written in any pc or fone or anything of the sort as I have massive technology issues during these times. Now with some back ground I can get to the real issue. My dad passed 20.12.13 very close to Christmas, and my sister told me that she had had sex with my step mum, my half brothers mother, my dad’s true love, and that she had done it years ago and thought to tell me then, only she said she was raped and drugged up, taken advantage of at 26? By a woman half her size who I know and love? So after 4 years of acceptance to this or more just not realising the implications of all of these things I refused to go to a “party” due to being really ill and not wanting to see Ben (six people eating chicken and talking about depression) she bacame passive aggressive and ignored me, so I then became angry with her and my bpd split her so now I see no good in her but I’m sure there isn’t I could go on all day about how self serving she is, she has stated that 4 aledged people have taken advantage but she’s a known ■■■■ , she has my dad’s ashes and will not release them saying it was his wishes to stay with her but no one can visit, not my aunts not my brother or even the woman who broke his heart be abuse they all have a right, am I just being an ass here or do I fight to get those ashes put in a cemetery instead of a tupperwere jar on her mantle piece watching her and Ben argue over who is more wright and how the world is against them, this is literally as little as I can say there is so so much more to this, thanks for any replies

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I kind of went through something similar. I had to fight to put my brothers ashes to rest. I say keep up the good fight and try and get the ashes back. It may help if your father had a will describing what to do with the ashes.

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