The pdoc said that I was treatment resistant. The psychiatric system gave up on me (TW drugs)

DX'd - Other
1

And she was right. I have tried every drug, every treatment, from therapy to electroshock, but I was still chronically sad.

The best I could do, was to learn to live with my sadness, she said, and that’s exactly what I would have said to someone in my situation.

But of course I didn’t want to live with my sadness. I ended up using drugs (opium) instead and got heavily addicted, not to mention all the awful side effects the drug has (sometimes people forget that illegal drugs often have far worse side effects than legal drugs).

Opium was obviously a bad solution, and I ended up in the rehab clinic with all the junkies and hobos, three days ago.

At the first session, they sat me on a chair and gave me suboxone, i put the tablet under my tongue and they monitored me for half an hour.

15 minutes later something “clicked” in my mind. It was not “a high”, but something else I couldn’t figure out. The nurse gave me a dose more, and an hour later I left the clinic and went home.

The next two days I did the same.

Yesterday I felt sad and confused, but otherwise my life has changed in every way, and I’m trying to navigate in what I call my “new life.”

It’s one of the strangest and most confusing episodes I have ever tried.

I have to take suboxone the rest of my life, they said, and of course I am by now addicted to suboxone, but I can live with that.

Yes, the psychiatric system gave up on me for good reasons, but I think that I, in my own peculiar way, found my solution just a step outside the psychiatric system.

I know that i cant avoid feeling sad, but there is a normal sadness everyone experience, and i will welcome that. But i think i have said goodbye to that what i call the malign and chronic sadness

5 Likes
2

You should be able to lower the dose of Suboxone and eventually get off of it if you choose to, I have seen people do it before. Wish you well.

2 Likes
3

By the way - i have heard that psychiatrists in USA is less strict, more open to use other strategies than their colleagues in Europe, and i have read that some psychiatrists in the states use suboxone (buprenorphine) as an antidepressant (that would be impossible in Europe, two years ago i asked my Pdoc, and she said it was impossible)

Thanks @Laine i don’t think i will get off it, but i think i will ask if they can reduce my dose

1 Like
4

It just depends on the doctor; I’ve used buprenorphine for depression and I’m in Europe (EU). It is also possible to prescribe other opioids for depression, but I know doctors rarely do this, and as you have seen, it is easier to get buprenorphine for drug addiction.

Have you tried the so-called tricyclics (TCAs) or monoamine oxidase inhibitors (MAOIs)? It is also possible to combine two or more drugs.

-Albert.

2 Likes
5

There isn’t a way to wean off Soboxone some day in the future?

I’m glad it’s helping you and that you’re turning your life around for the better. You deserve to be treated well not just by others but by yourself. The drs should never have given up on you. Don’t give up on yourself. Keep on this new path. You’re doing great so far!

2 Likes
6

That’s news to me @schizornot (great username) and yes i have tried TCA without any effect and im already on MAO (isocarboxide).

MAO worked great, i had one year completely free of depression on MAO, but slowly it stopped to work, the depression/sadness came back.

Why did you stop buprenorphine?

Thanks for the kind word @LilyoftheValley i can understand why the doctors gave up on me, it was not for personal reasons, but medicine and elektrochock couldn’t stop my depression (on the other hand it was my pdoc that send me to rehab, so they haven’t completely given up on me).

I have been using opioids for 10 years. I think there is something deeply physiological besides the simple addiction that makes opioids the only drug that works, so i dont think i will ever wean off

2 Likes
7

Well I’m just glad you’re feeling better now and that there’s a treatment that helps you

2 Likes
8

My (helpful) psychiatrist was talked into stopping to prescribe any kind of useful drug (especially buprenorphine and methylphenidate) to me by his (destructive) superior. It turned my life upside down and I had to resort to (“research chemical”) gray-market drugs, especially a stimulant that works like methylphenidate, but I could not find a substitute for buprenorphine.

-Albert.

1 Like
9

It’s a sad but very typical story.
Two years ago My Pdoc offered me one monthly ECT treatment, in fact she recommended it, but when i asked for buprenorphine, methadone, ultram or anything that really would alleviate my depression, she said no.

When it comes to depression i think the psychiatrist should be more open to alternative therapies. In Denmark they use a lot of ECT, and yes it helps some people, im not against ECT, but someone like me don’t benefit from it.

Depression is like missing out on life itself - for gods sake, then do whatever you can to treat it, instead of saying first TCA then MAO then ECT.

1 Like
10

Incidentally, I’ve read that also in Denmark, they are offering heroin itself, not just methadone (or buprenorphine), as a street-drug alternative for heroin addicts.

Absolutely agreed! If they can give it to addicts, they should also give it to victims of depression.

I think TCAs and MAOIs should be tried before opioids, but ECT is dangerous, if you care about keeping your memories intact so rather than risk memory loss, I’d rather take an opioid any day instead of ECT, despite a risk of addiction.

-Albert.

1 Like
11

It’s hard to kick the sadness. Maybe you can try something that has helped before. I’ve been through just about every drug. I’m on perphenazine now. I really hope you find something that works. Hugs.

1 Like
12

Thanks a lot @roxanna

I think i already now can say that i suffered from chronic depression, of course its too early to tell, but this drug, suboxone is very effective.

1 Like
13

Absolutely agree first TCA then MAO - and then you can consider opioids.

You dont get really addicted on TCA or MAO compared to opioids where you can’t help being addicted, and being addicted should be avoided because it’s like being trapped

Yes in Denmark they are offering heroin to people helplessly addicted to heroin. I guess it’s because they want to avoid the crime heroin addicts commit.

1 Like
14

In addition, there are various other options you might try – psychopharmacology is a vast topic. For example, I got very powerful effects from memantine. As a matter of fact, some people find it useful for quitting opioids!

Yes, I have have trouble quitting nicotine (I stopped smoking but I’m taking Nicorette) myself.

Yes, they call it harm reduction.

-Albert.

15

Unless it is having some kind of negative effect there is no rush to get off it. When I was tapering off clonazepam (a benzo) I took it ridiculously slow. At the end I was taking tiny little bits for weeks. The withdrawals after I quit were relatively mild (but still sucked) compared to what I’ve read others have experienced and only lasted 3 weeks after my last dose.

That was 2 years ago. I am back on it again because I have insomnia so I am gonna have to go through the process of withdrawal all over again…eventually, but I’ll just do what I did last time and do it very very slowly.

That’s good, I hope you start feeling better and better :smiley:

2 Likes
16

If you tried everything, and nothing worked - there’s a chance that you might have biopterin deficiency. You can get tested for it with a genetic blood test. The treatment for this type of depression is not with antidepressants, because nothing will work. Few psychiatrists are aware of this type of treatment-resistant depression. biopterin is required for our bodies to make all neurotransmitters.

1 Like
17

I checked it out at WIKI, and i don’t think i have it, it’s a very rare disease (but that might be because people go under the radar). On the other hand i do have very bad control over my body temperature.

Luckily my new drug, Suboxone (buprenorphine) seems to work very good, and im only feeling a whiff of a “high” just after my daily dose, it quickly disappears… I had expected that, since all opiates have been working for my depression.

But its a hell lot better to get a prescription on a drug from your doc instead of buying it on the streets or, in my case, grow it in my garden or buying it on the internet.

18

This topic was automatically closed 90 days after the last reply. New replies are no longer allowed.