I think the whole world is judging and hating me. I have had some crazy episodes with my schizophrenia that has publicly embarrassed me and I think people judge who I am by that. I have gotten way better since then and dont know how I’m suppose to address the past. I obviously wasn’t right in the head and wasn’t thinking as I do now. I think people think I’m dangerous! when really I’m not I’ve just had really strange thoughts in the past. Any advice for moving forward? I really have a hard time thinking people are gossiping about me and that no one will understand that all the past was me really sick. And also they might think if I explain my bizarre thinking is not me it’s my disease they will say I’m using my diagnosis as a excuse. Am i?
Do you live in a small town or something? It sounds like you live somewhere where everybody knows your business.
The whole world isn’t judging and hating you because the whole world doesn’t know you. When you walk down the street or go in a grocery store, people don’t know everything about you. All they see is some guy buying a loaf of bread or some Cheerio’s or something. Are you having problems with specific people?
You can’t read minds, you don’t really know what anyone’s thinking or what they think of you.
Actions speak louder than words so even if you embaressed yourself in the past, now if you’re better you might repair some of the damage done in the past by being responsible and not do anything foolish. Talk to people, be friendly let them see you’re not a bad guy and that you may have not been able to hold it together in the past but you’re alright now.
Time is the biggest healer, and you need to work through your issues with yourself personally. Maybe you are projecting your issues with your past onto other people
Thank you for replying. My town is not especially small but yeah a certain group of people. I have been hoping just to show that now I’m together more so than ever. I have stuck with my mental health community and figure if anyone will understand I will be them. I have been in recovery for a year and a half after 6 years on the streets untreated and the beginning of it was really rough and
Welcome to the forum @Okfornow 
Thank you for the welcome!
I’ll share what I do in this very predicament. The friends (now acquaintances) around me at the time of my first episode I reach out to once per year. I still have their contact info so I send an email or text just to check in and let them know I’m thinking of them.
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