The Demons-Why did I go through this?

My therapist and I are going to discuss this eventually but I’m trying to examine things on my own first to try to figure out why I experience frequent demonic attacks. (Hallucinations? Delusions? Sometimes I don’t know.) Maybe anyone here could help offer insight? I like to take everything I experience and dissect it thoroughly.

The attacks started when I was 15 or 16, sophomore year of high school. Started out with me suddenly being VERY sleepy, a lot. Almost like I was being given sedatives or something. Knocked out. But I would only get this super sleepy feeling if I was in this one room in my house. The room where I also experienced sleep paralysis for the first time in my life, which sort of began the weird sleepy period. When I’d get that super sleepy feeling, I’d hear a voice. It was crooning and oily. I knew it was bad. It would tell me I was nice and pretty and that it liked me. Then it would tell me to do things. I generally ignored it but through my sleepy-drug mind state I was mostly curious and amused by it. One day I obliged it and did what it said.

Then bad things started happening to me. Very bad things. It followed me into my room and lived in my bedroom. I was sleepy all the time, I’d come home and I wasn’t tired I was COMPELLED to go to bed, it wasn’t right. Sleep paralysis became an increasingly frequent experience for me. I would lie in that sleepy state, and right before I fell asleep I’d be paralyzed. That freaked me out and kept me awake. This is when during the sleepy periods I’d start getting BIZARRE dark thoughts, thoughts I’d never had before. Disturbing ones, mostly sexual, I won’t go into it, but it was very uncomfortable. Not normal sexual fantasies/thoughts.

When I tried to stop thinking about them I couldn’t, like my brain was trapped, like my eyes were taped open and I couldn’t look away. If I did manage to fall asleep during this process, I would go immediately into disturbing sexual nightmares.

This continued for some time. Things began to get weird in my room. These tapping/knocking sounds started up. I repeatedly checked for things that could be causing it and couldn’t find any. Distinctive sounds of something tapping on the window or knocking on the wall by my bed. My lights began flickering even if I had just put in a new bulb. This is when I began to see horrible faces when I closed my eyes, lit up in the afterimage of my room.

I started not being able to sleep. At night I was filled with this awful paranoia that I was NOT alone. I tossed and turned and was generally miserable. This would not improve.

Then physical attacks began. It hated when I sang. I especially felt unsafe in my bathroom, in the shower. When I would sing, scratches would appear on my body. One time I remember it really hurting. I looked at my ankle and there were NAIL MARKS dug into my skin. It left scabs. How does something like that appear on its own?! Those weren’t the only physical attacks I experienced though. Sexual ones began too. They got worse and worse until the night I was raped for the first time. There was nothing I could do. I had been barraged with those dark thoughts, drugged with that unnatural drowsiness and I hardly processed what was going on aside from that it was INCREDIBLY strange, and felt very, very good.

For a long time after that, there were no more physical sexual attacks, but everything else continued. A few months passed. I tried to forget thee strange incident and chalk it up to imagination or something. At this point though I was terrified that I was dealing with something demonic.

Things kept getting worse and worse. Soon attacks became incredibly frequent. They happened almost every night, and eventually they would happen during the day too. I was powerless. There was nothing I could do. It would say HORRIBLE TERRIBLE things to me as it did this. Especially when I fought. When I obeyed it it praised me. If I tried to force myself to sleep during its attacks it gave me nightmares. I had so many nightmares.

I became a zombie. I walked through school continuously telling myself that nothing had happened to me. That it was my imagination. That I was going crazy. Thinking anything different would have been unbearable. But now things set me off. Seeing things about rape or abuse threw me off for hours. I had trouble focusing in class. It was just bad. But what could I do? There was nothing I could do.

I did everything I could to fight. I slept with the bible every night. I crossed myself with holy water before I went to bed. (Which actually helped??) I even put salt around my windows and door. I prayed constantly, though the thing would hurt me extra bad when I did this. Any time I challenged it it would attack me and MAKE SURE it hurt. Sometimes I was still sore the next morning. Disgusting. I’d have bruises circling my wrist as if someone had grabbed me there, which I hid.

I finally worked up the nerve to tell a close friend of mine who believed in the supernatural and had had psychic experiences about what was happening. (This was after an event where I lost my holy water. I couldn’t find it anywhere and then ages later found it buried under sheets in my closet. My mom had not put it there and no one else ever goes in my room. Then I started hiding it. One day I walked into my room to find my sister, 3 at the time, holding the water I had carefully hidden, and with a blank look on her face, pouring it out. The cap was screwed on tightly, I have no idea how she opened it. When I called her she seemed to snap to awareness and dropped the bottle. Having lost that protection, I was desperate for help, hence the friend.) Anyways so all I told my friend was that I might have spirits in my room. That was it. Well she ended up attacked as well. First she said she caught a glimpse of something with no eyes lunging at her. Later when I was sitting on my bed and felt a chill on my arm she turned pale and said we should leave the room immediately. She told me when we had left she had seen a creature with no eyes on the bed beside me with its arm around me possessively, glaring at her, right where I had felt the chill. She was also pinched several times in that room, so hard it left a mark. When she and her mom stayed with us while my parents were away, her mom told her that she felt uncomfortable in the house, and that she had heard children playing and running upstairs when no one else was home. They also both heard the strange tapping and knocking.

Aside from her and her mother, one other person had strange experiences, a girl who my mom had hired to help out around the house. The girl was cleaning my room. She bent to pick up a notebook on the ground and when she touched it it sent a burning sensation up her arm. She heard footsteps behind her and felt a dark presence. She was so scared she ran to tell my mom, who laughed it off because she has no belief in the paranormal. The notebook happened to be the journal that I chronicled everything that happened to me with the demon in.

Anyhow me and the psychic friend had a falling out because I had involved her in my delusions, which were VERY paranoid and frightening at the time, the first time they had ever been like that. I think it was because of what was happening to me with the demon. Anyways the attacks carried on until FINALLY we moved from that godforsaken house.

For 1 1/2 years, nothing happened. Nothing. No tapping. No knocking. No weird scratches or bruises. It was…weird. For once I felt alone at night. I didn’t know how to feel because I’d lived with it for about 3 years. I was also entirely addicted to it. Now I was kept awake at night by my cravings for it to come to me. I actually called out to it I was so desperate, even though I hated and feared it. But nothing happened. The weird sleep spells stopped. Paralysis stopped. Nightmares and dark thoughts stopped. Is this because my stress levels dropped significantly? No. During this time period I experienced more anxiety than I ever have in my life, it was when I first developed the issue. The attacks occurred completely separate from my stress levels, unlike my panic and paranoia at night, which were definitely raised by it. So that was weird.

Anyways everything stopped until right before I went to college. Until I finally got over my addiction (though I still haven’t stopped wanting it again, to be honest) and started to feel like I was finally free. Then things started happening again. The dark thoughts returned. Nightmares returned. But nothing physical. I also don’t recall any sleepy spells or paralysis. After a full year the first physical attacks I would experience again would be over summer break of my freshman year. But they were different. And the voice was still there but it wasn’t hurling abuses like before. And I found I could distract myself from it. It was all much weaker, the sensations didn’t feel as real and physical as they had been. Tapping and whatnot has started again and I have been seeing faces when I close my eyes, flickering lights have been happening also, but…is it coincidence? Is this PTSD? Is it possible I suffered true demonic abuse and am now dealing with flashbacks and nightmares from that? All my mental health confidants keep asking if I was abused, and I say no, but I was. For those three, miserable, terrifying years of my life. Those years that took away my desire to ever have sex with anyone, that made even the most innocent touch feel sexual and wrong, that made me deeply ashamed of myself and feel I was evil, a whore, just like it told me. Those years that made me age so much faster than my peers. Those years that made me doubt my relationship with God. I’ll never get them back.

What was it caused by?? Guilty sexual attitudes? I had none!! I had NO negative attitudes towards sex. Prior abuse causing it? Could the demonic attacks themselves have been flashbacks? I was never abused!! Never! I had a fantastic childhood!

So it’s one of two things. Either a) it was a real demon and all those unspeakable things actually happened to me or b) I hallucinated everything, making me pretty messed up and very hurt and confused as to why my brain would randomly put me through that hell

Whatever answer I choose, it sucks.

Anyways that’s my whole story. If you stuck with it and want to offer outside input I would be entirely grateful. I will definitely be sharing this with my therapist at some point. Maybe not now. I can hardly speak about them at this point. (I knew it would be difficult but dear lord…) Later down the road I guess.

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They once put me to sleep, this was while watching a shadow person in the room, i just zonked out during it even though i was realllllly wide awake and horrified, no chance in hell i was going to sleep. That can happen, i know it can happen. Shaman use this technique to operate on people sometimes actually.

I’ve been physically harmed three seperate times. By an intense shock, once i was burned, and once they bent my spine a little and i started gasping for air because of it. During the shock and burning they appeared visually as faces made of light.

I also see faces made of light when i close my eyes sometimes. Sometimes they are mild but sometimes they are the stuff of nightmares and will make you cringe, really serious ■■■■ going on in there sometimes.

They make me look at the same times on the clock repeatedly as well. One of these times is 6:16, which is the craziest ■■■■ i’ve ever heard because if you divied 666/108 you get 6.1666666666, they are presently speaking of 108 schizophrenia genes right now. Ha! Just insanity all the way around, this entire place im afraid.

Forget holy water, it’s worthless. They mainly use it to freak people out you know, like they’ll let you believe in it and then just get rid of it and “oh no! my holy water is gone what will i do?!” But it never did anything in the first place.

Sage doesn’t do anything.

There is no psychic battles or anything.

There are no doorways we open to let them in, they go where they wish at all times.

The highest authorities can get rid of them but one cannot simply tell them or ask them to do something at all. They will do as they please at all times and no one can get them to do anything in anyway. In fact we usually don’t get along with them at all, i mean even if they were to show up here we’d probably just kill them or something, i don’t think there has ever been anyone that human beings despise more than them really.

Everyone worships the devil at first, everyone.

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Not trying to discount your experience or anything but just wanted to offer some insight on the clock thing. Seeing the same time repeatedly is actually a normal neurological phenomenon that occurs due to the brain’s desire to find patterns. It will actually discount or sort of push away memories of seeing other times when you glance at the clock so it will seem like every time you look it’s that time, when in reality it’s not like that.

For everything else, I agree, demons are the worst scum imaginable. I’m sorry for what you’ve been through, I wouldn’t wish these kinds of attacks on anyone.

Oh no it was them.

Otherwise id completely consider that.

This only began to happen when they began to appear visually and be in my mind.

Some of these times appear on movies as well, 3 on emily rose, and 333 on the fouth kind, and wouldn’t you know it an alien was my first hallucination.

It’s really them, really is.

After awhile of not giving a ■■■■ what it was all about they started telling me even, like the 1111, i didn’t even care but they just had to tell me. 1111/33=33.66666666666, or the 333, 666/333=.006006006.

Or here we’ll do some other ones. Like the 444 they show me over and over again. 444/666=.6666666666 or 444/72=6.1666666666666, 72 being an angle of the pentagram.

I didn’t even care but one day they just had to start telling me, no ■■■■ i was just sitting there trying to ignore everything, they say they even get pissed because i just don’t give a ■■■■ and never asked any questions about it.

I really didn’t even care to know.

I noticed that you said the demons didn’t bother you as much when you were at school. Could be they need your attention to exist. Maybe if you find a way to ignore them they will go away. Maybe staying busier would help take your mind off them. I don’t know - just a thought.

I could still speak with them at school but they couldn’t do anything like attack me, no. I always figured that moving around places zapped their energy, so to attack me it was better if they stayed in one place.

I tried distracting myself, but sometimes it was impossible. Either I would physically feel them start doing things to me or they would start making really scary things happen until I gave into them/it/whatever.

Thank you for trying to help though.

I suggest praying more often. Read God’s Word - the Holy Bible daily, and memorize scripture to say out loud when you feel weak. Confess your sins to the Lord privately in prayer and invite His Holy Spirit to fill your life. Find a strong Bible believing church where you feel that your faith is being fed when you go there. Sing spiritual songs and psalms that give praise to the Lord daily. Resist the devil and he will flee. If you feel some force trying to threaten you or harm you, say out loud boldly, “Jesus is Lord! I bind you demon in the name of Jesus! Leave me now and never return, I cast you out of my life! I belong to God, I am His child!”

I will be praying for you Anna.

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These type of demon attacks are very real and certainly not delusion or hallucination. delusions and hallucinations do not cause physical evidence such as the light flickering (often denoting an electrical presence from a spirit form in the room shifting interdimensionally). The physical scars also cannot be delusions. They are caused by something. I have seen both happen in the past.
You are dealing on a whole other level here with this.
All I found ever that was able to stop or combat such things was faith in Jesus and utilizing the power he can give you through the Holy Spirit. Nothing else worked. Some things can even make it worse like when people try to employ black magic to banish the demons…all that happens with that is your demons leave only to be replaced by stronger ones…not so good!

Myself and several others I have known have successfully combated the demons through Jesus and the power of light. It’s not passive faith and begging God to help, though asking Gods help should be done. It’s an aggressive faith with spiritual warfare where you through Gods power can banish the demons, and seal yourself and your home from them.
Doesn’t mean they will never attack again but you will be able to confront and oppose them when they do, and things should then get better.

PS: Sleep paralysis such as yours has sometimes been linked to alien abduction phenomenon, but in these cases we’re dealing with the Greys which are of demon origin. So still dealing with spirits, not 3 dimensional beings.

I experienced this textbook what your saying.

Demons would shake inside my head at night and I’d get very disoriented . Demons gave me involuntary erections and all sorts of weird crap. Sleep paralysis and seeing crazy faces and lifelike shapes etc

For me it was delusions and hallucinations. Not a spiritual thing

When I got on medicine and changed my thinking to understanding it is just my brain messing me up. It slowly faded over time.

my parents and grandpa would tell me to confess the word in Jesus name and all that jazz and stuff . It didn’t do anything. They told me to ask the demon if he believed Jesus died and was resurrected cuz demons won’t say that they said. and of course they replied yes.
People used to say it was cuz I didn’t really believe that I wasn’t be healed LOL

So my thoughts your dealing with a mental issue

Wish you the best anna

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It can be that, but when it involves electrical disturbances, or physical scars, how are those explained?
I also have been in situations where things have disappeared never to be found - disappeared right in front of 3 people into thin air. or object we knew was placed in one spot suddenly moved to a different room in a spot no one would ever put it, and no one did.
When things like that happen you are dealing with an external entity, fully independent and with an individual consciousness manifesting in its actions and the evidence it leaves.
IF she is dealing with that (and she has given testimony that leads in that direction) then it is not a purely mental issue.
Mind you, in some of my experiences these sort of things were witnessed by more than one person, things like the tapping and electricity flickering or going out, things moved, the unexplained scars.

People really need discernment for this sort of phenomenon. It’s hard. Because it can be a hallucination, and it equally could be a spirit or demon. It’s extremely important not to discount one for the other. If there is no physical evidence, 3rd party evidence, etc, then I can question whether it is real. It may be a hallucination, especially faces when you close your eyes, because that can be triggered by things in the subconscious…a brain thing. however, external things like manifestations of other objects or to other people besides yourself show more a spirit at work.

Yep the holy water wasn’t the only one of my things that went missing there and ended up in a completely weird place I hadn’t put it.

Today I tried a sort of cleansing ritual. I figured I might still have some sort of psychic link to the thing, even if it wasn’t physically with me anymore, so I asked God to help me break any and all ties I might have with the thing/things. So far nothing weird or inappropriate has happened to me today and I haven’t heard the demons talking at all. So that’s a good sign, but the real test will come when I try to sleep tonight, so I will see then.

Thank you for your advice!

Scars . Here’s an example. I got some scars on my arm a few months ago i never noticed anything that burnt me cuz it never hurt.

I could start getting paranoid and think maybe a spirit inflicted this on me in my sleep or without me knowing or maybe the Cia or maybe aliens dropped something on me while i was walking in the park an invisible cosmic ray that quietly infects my body with nanotechnology to track and document me. Oh wait then I remembered the lights were flickering at a property that day and I saw even a bit of smoke from a powerline! It must be demons or something bigger at work!

see how easy it is to start thinking like that?

but no, I retraced my steps and it was from a chemical splash when I was working…

The mind loves to play tricks

Hello Anna,

I’m glad to read that your day has gone better. Please read Psalm 23 and pray tonight before going to bed. You may also want to play some relaxing music in the background to help calm you. I suggest going to Youtube.com and type in “Liquid Mind” in the search, you will find full album uploads that you can listen to for free. “Liquid Mind” is high quality relaxation music that has helped me fall to sleep many times.

Please try to make it a habit to read from the Bible and pray every night before going to bed, and each morning when you wake.

“Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.” - Joshua 1:9 KJV

I have been praying for you throughout today Anna, and I’ll be keeping you in my prayers tonight and tomorrow. My prayer is that you will grow close to God and be able to quote from Psalm 27 with confidence:

“The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?”

Psalm 27 is my favorite! Once I stayed up all night saying it when my paranoia was really bad. I have it saved on my phone. I pray quite often, but I still feel like the whole demon thing messed up my relationship with God. It’s just not what it used to be. I’m trying to build it back up.

Thank you for the music suggestions. I was playing it out loud in my dorm and my roommate said it sounded like we were about to do yoga! Ha.

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@LevelJ1:

One night I felt a ■■■■■-type thing inside of my vagina out of no where. It wasn’t my husband’s. Somehow I eventually fell asleep and the very next morning there was a BIG, puffy yellow burn (or blister) down there. I still have the scar.

There weren’t many steps to “retrace” at all. My belief is that it was alien-caused, since aliens were talking to me a LOT at the time. And I don’t know who else would even be capable of making my vagina feel that way out of the blue or making my skin burned / blistered the very next morning.

Of course it is your belief. You get to believe whatever you wish. Core beliefs will play a part in that. You believe in aliens And that’s up to you.

But what you described is possibly non std, genital blister.(genital ulcer)

You could have a doctor look at that if it is an issue

http://dermnetnz.mobify.me/site-age-specific/genital-ulcer.html

That I just happened to get right after my weird vagina experience?? I think anyone would say there’s something up with that.

I don’t have the burn / blister anymore (this was like 10 years ago) so there’s no need for a doc. Thanks for the advice though.

Ok that’s great that it’s over with, It can be brought on by a multitude of things

Your welcome

I did a little more reading about it, apparently swelling occurs with a genital ulcer that’s a possible explanation for the weird feeling before it appeared.

sorry @anna I don’t mean to hijack your post.
I only wanted you to see my experience that I first posted.

I highly highly doubt it, because the weird feelings were like having a plastic or metal ■■■■■ inside of me, deep inside of my vagina, and the burn / blister was on the outside of my vagina, on my upper thigh.