there was a point when i last ditched my meds, smoked weed everyday and went psychotic where something talked to me. i cant remember exactly what they said but it caused me to stop eating.
i went two weeks without eating a single thing. im unsure what i drank, possibly coffee or just water. i was falling alseep every twenty minutes as the lack of food got to me, i was hearing aliens talk, seeing this girl that was part tree running around my room, i was ■■■■■■.
all i remember is waking up and seeing these two angels flying overhead. it was really beautiful, they were made of gold and the gold dust trailed behind them as they flew. they simply said to me , you can come with us if you close your eyes. i was scared, i didnt want to die, but i was so tired from the lack of food that i closed them for a moment, about to fall asleep, knowing somehow if i did, i would never wake up. . i still saw the angels and i think they asked me if i wanted to come with them , since i had closed my eyes, i declined their offer. i wanted to live, there was an understanding there, and they flew off. i immediately opened my eyes, overjoyed at being given this chance to live, and i went down stairs to the fridge, my mum had bought me a doner kebab the night before, because i wouldnt eat anything and she thought a kebab might tempt me, it didnt, it was only after those angels had left that i saw sense. i was still psychotic af tho so i thought the kebab represented a dead alien body that had crashed in africa. i represtented the man that found it and ate the meat of the alien, and began psychedelically tripping for weeks, due to the toxicity of alien meat. i think i read a story about it online, although it could be a delusion. i thought aliens were watching but i mentally apologised and said i have to eat this or ill die, and proceeded to scoff half of the cold kebab. it tasted heavenly, and after i had finished i think i agreed to go to hospital.
looking back now, im wondering, aliens aside, was it some kind of test? is psychosis a spiritual awakening as some have said, or was i just testing myself? who knows, what do you think?
was i so close to death that i saw actual angels? or was it just a hallucination?
well since angels are not real I would say it was a hallucination. I almost died once and I saw an angel, I thought it was my dead grandmother, she was all flowey in a long robe, hovering at the foot of my hospital bed. I had been given pain meds and looking back I may have been having a reaction to them.
It’s up to you to interpret what it means to you. However people on this site will help you with what you need to know to survive and recover. Generally listening to the voices is misleading and only leads to more pain.
I remember when I was very psychotic one of the voices spoke very violently and tried to physically get into my head. My eyesight went red and I could hear angry voices. Later a kind voice also tried to enter my head and I felt blissful and there was white light and a kind feeling. It felt good bc I was starved for kindness.
In the end though I felt I was being deceived on all sides. But I am still grateful for the oasis of kindness I experienced.
yeah man, so the general consensus is that voices and visions mean nothing? i disagree, that moment of comfort that you felt was warranted, it was probably yourself trying to show yourself some love you were lacking, the same with me, it could have been me punishing myself for bad choices, going as close to death as possible, before being redeemed, and eating again. its amazing how our bodies and minds communicate with us during psychosis. there is a lot to be learned but i need others to help me figure it out .
I think angels are real, I just don’t think they talk to us.
I tend to believe in things I can bang my head into, like this table… ouch
Maybe it was only a tactile hallucination.
I don’t believe in angels or spiritual beings, people who see or hear them are hallucinating.
Sounds like you had a really lucky escape. Also sounds like a hallucination though. Sorry.
it probably was a hallucination, but it is so cool to think it was actual angels its mental.
that could easily lead to a delusion along the lines of ’ this world isnt real, the psychosis world is realer’ so ■■■■ that lol
Does anybody tap that ‘Return’ key any longer.
Freaking books are keeping me from participating.
while working at my job i heard a voice say religious idolatry, i went home and youtubed the virgin mary i was into that ■■■■ bac then and the first comment was just this is religous idolatry in capital letters so i think there is something to this ■■■■, despite what people day what do u think?
the word i used there was s h i t
I think it’s schizophrenia.
Not to say religious beliefs are mental illness, but when they specifically involve or torment you, that’s probably what it is.
You don’t say…
Oh my heavens you swore.
You also spelled ‘bac’ like a Twitter.
hahaha what if it is a test? i know all the ■■■■ that comes with that heaven and hell , religion and all, but what if it is real? i often wonder
Last time I saw angels, one of them was beating me up for making Jesus come down to save me …haha
And Jesus spake “I swear, if I have to come down there one more time…”
In all truth, if it wasn’t for our constant hallucinations… any one of the hallucinations we get would make us believe in Heaven / Hell … but because the hallucinations are constant- always there, it’s had to differentiate all these so called proof of heaven/hell from just schizo bullsh1t…
But end of the day, we probably understand there’s a heaven - it’s not something you can force someone to see
Why is this a discussion about religion and angels ?
clearly it is imaginary,
we all already know the girl running around as a half tree and half human would be the only thing real in this situation
Humans and trees go a long, long, long way back.