Most junkies these days start off with cannabis,
then progress to drinkin, smokin crack, meth, shootin dope, smack, but I was a much different animal.
Although who’s to say my way
is better than others.
Certainly I wouldn’t attest to that at this point in history.
Although I did enjoy what I did.
It wasn’t all evil and felonies, insanity and lunacy.
There was a lot more to my life than what the normies imagined.
They stuck me with the mentally ill because they didn’t know where else to put me.
I wasn’t mentally ill. I had been abused. OK so PTSD is a form of mental illness.
But to me it was entirely different than the schizophrenia I was called by the doctors.
Maybe I had a tad of bi-polar tendencies in me but most of all I was an addict,
not mentally ill. In a society that stigmatizes the addict more than the mentally ill.
But that was the sect I wanted to be involved in. I wanted to be an addict. It was a beautiful way.
Well I could see the beauty in addicts. They were beautiful.
Or maybe they were downtrodden. Maybe that made me one of them. Maybe I wanted to struggle. but Na
I was just an unusual fella,
reaching for the lysergamines
before anything else at first beyond cannabis.
I drank and smoked here and there but that was just to fit in
and make myself not seem too strange. At last it was good medicine too.
Although I didn’t like the way it made me feel like the illegal stuff.
I was caught in a life of criminality. Running from the law.
Hiding weed green leaves in my glove box console.
I was to be a writer, or so I told my teachers.
They didn’t believe me. How could someone so utterly unsuccessful become a writer.
I had a higher grandiose version of my self in mind than they could even imagine.
Until it became apparent. My alternate self became alive.
I try to stay away from numbers as when i focus on them I go into this rabbit hole, it’s not healthy, were not computers. It is easy to go too far with them, that is why I avoid them. Writing often helps. Bit of drawing, but no numbers.
1 Like
This topic was automatically closed 7 days after the last reply. New replies are no longer allowed.