I feel I’ve hacked into the code/pattern of life

This is a very unusual belief but I feel life has a pattern. And you may think I’m psychotic but I don’t think I am. I think when on a certain drug I like that I can see the pattern of life crystal clear as day. And my cognition has taken leaps and bounds of a jump. But I’ve always stayed true to myself besides pretending I were black. Which isn’t a big deal. Race is interchangeable because we are all human. But I never lied about anything else. I stayed true in other regards. And when you start lying about your age and stuff you create an alternative self and it conflicts with your real self. I can see this crystal clear as day sometimes. And I’m glad because I only faked my race which doesn’t effect me negatively in the long term. If I start lying about my age I become a different entity in a regard I don’t want. And my binge is over I ran out but not without me seeing that life is a mathematical equation/pattern. And I seriously could predict the future and talk to animals on this drug. I am feeling so incredible. And it makes me believe in my delusions when it helps me and it makes me not believe in them when it doesn’t help me. It is truly magical. And god has spoken to me many times on this drug. I don’t think it could be any more obvious at this point. I sound crazy but life is crazy. And when I was on this drug I felt I was on the same level as all y’all. Usually I am not on your guys level. I am not here. But ketamine gave me a boost and now I am on your guys level. I truly think it’s a miracle. And besides I don’t type anything since I’ve done this drug. The drug does the typing for me. So effortless. The flow/rhyme/rhythm of life is so apparent.

I will return a bit. Just give me a few days. That was a huge binge I did. But in a way I will never forget these coincidences.

I’d stop taking it. It sounds like it’s making you worse while making you believe it’s making you better. :neutral_face:

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Yeah, I felt that way when I was on certain drugs as well. Truth was that I looked, acted, and sounded like a complete idiot, and I was damaging my body to boot. Also managed to alienate all of the good people in my life while using them.

Stay out of the drugs man, they’re not helpful for anyone, especially members of our tribe.

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I’m done with it for at least a month and I’ll never take so much again. I dunno man it’s too real… I know you all don’t believe in anything supernatural because it’s dangerous waters for most of you but it’s been truly an incredible life changing experience. How could it seem so damn real and the pattern is so perfectly in sync with everything. Ill tell you how I feel in a few days. The synchronicity will go away I have no doubts. But the ptsd zap, depression elimination and cognitive boost won’t die. Till much later at least. I’m doing a great job actually @pixel. No one would ever think I’m on anything. My parents are amazed with my insights today. And they’re a tough crowd to please…

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Ps I see my pdoc this week and planning on telling him everything.

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I gotta admit I have much less a regard for authority. Not sure if that’s bad. Or not the worst thing ever. But I am in control. Completely.

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