This is a very unusual belief but I feel life has a pattern. And you may think I’m psychotic but I don’t think I am. I think when on a certain drug I like that I can see the pattern of life crystal clear as day. And my cognition has taken leaps and bounds of a jump. But I’ve always stayed true to myself besides pretending I were black. Which isn’t a big deal. Race is interchangeable because we are all human. But I never lied about anything else. I stayed true in other regards. And when you start lying about your age and stuff you create an alternative self and it conflicts with your real self. I can see this crystal clear as day sometimes. And I’m glad because I only faked my race which doesn’t effect me negatively in the long term. If I start lying about my age I become a different entity in a regard I don’t want. And my binge is over I ran out but not without me seeing that life is a mathematical equation/pattern. And I seriously could predict the future and talk to animals on this drug. I am feeling so incredible. And it makes me believe in my delusions when it helps me and it makes me not believe in them when it doesn’t help me. It is truly magical. And god has spoken to me many times on this drug. I don’t think it could be any more obvious at this point. I sound crazy but life is crazy. And when I was on this drug I felt I was on the same level as all y’all. Usually I am not on your guys level. I am not here. But ketamine gave me a boost and now I am on your guys level. I truly think it’s a miracle. And besides I don’t type anything since I’ve done this drug. The drug does the typing for me. So effortless. The flow/rhyme/rhythm of life is so apparent.
I will return a bit. Just give me a few days. That was a huge binge I did. But in a way I will never forget these coincidences.
