Schizophrenia.com

Taking one for yourself, guilt

I feel guilt sometimes when I take one for myself. Maybe a post here and there where it’s peppered with possessive pronouns. nothing to beat myself up over, but I’m left feeling selfish or ‘bad.’ Being others-oriented takes lots of patience and sometimes your good deeds are overlooked or misinterpreted as being selfish or narcissistic.

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Yeah. I second guess myself sometimes, too.

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A few years ago, I was at my aunt’s place for dinner. My younger cousin was there and I really like the kid. After dinner, I decide to have a smoke on their patio. My cousin and his caretaker are out there, too, and I light my cigarette and puff away. Several weeks later, I admit to my mom that what I did was be a complete and utter jerk. Mom replies, they thought that they were intruding on your space. I wish my mom would’ve lied and told me that she couldn’t believe she raised me to do that.

Don’t be too hard on yourself. Some times it’s just that we don’t think things through. Also the meds can make our mind narrow. I recently made a med switch and I’m starting to realize things that have been lost to me for ages.

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Gene,

It’s self-doubt. Your low self-esteem is punishing you for normal living.

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You mean when you talk about yourself? I’m not sure I understand.

Meds can certainly have an affect on our present state of mind.

@Jayster: perhaps the root of all my troubles, low self-esteem. I used to and still do walk with my head down. ‘Counting the squares,’ as a co-worker aptly put it.

@Treebeard: yes, coupled with the illness and an unhealthy ego leads to much confusion

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I don’t think you talk too much about yourself here.

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