I had such a great life up until 18.
I know it will never be the same but man i miss those days.
No paranoia, no delusions etc etc.
Ive tasted what its like to be sz free and unfortunately i cant get back there.
How depressing…
Ill try my best though
I see how you feel. Let me tell you that i have no paranoia and no delusions because i dont have sz (yet) but i constatly have the fear that it comes out and i also miss the time before the first episode (before 20y). There wasn’t ‘potencial danger’ if i didn’t sleep, for example. The nostalgy of the young age is contributive too. We are getting older 
what fuels your paranoia and delusions?
i know how u feel wallafish…I had the makings of a good life before this illness hit…now I try to adapt to a new norm
How long have you been diagnosed for, and do you still have symptoms?
I miss the freedom of leaving my place without feeling like Im being watched or followed or having my neighbors watching and talking about me. I miss not feeling tense all the time, under a microscope. Lots of things to miss, but we have to make do with the hand were dealt. Its a sad reality but remember, everyone has their cross to bear, some more than others. But those with larger burdens are stronger from it. Hang in there man
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