So I’ve been working a retail job for the past 3-ish weeks, and so far it’s been relatively smooth sailing-- that is, until two days ago:
On Monday, a coworker made a comment and it just snowballed into a full-on conspiracy at work against me.
I was hearing whispering, had ideas of reference, and was extremely paranoid for my entire 5-hour shift.
It got so bad that towards the end of the work day, I was thinking things weren’t real.
Haven’t had a day that extreme until that point-- made me remember the old times I’d be at work while unmedicated just trying to make it through the day.
I’m already on 15mg of Abilify and 50mg of Zoloft, and really don’t want a med increase, let alone a switch.
I’ve got another 5-hour shift today, and am nervous the symptoms are going to come flooding back.
I just want to do my job, and do it well.
Any recommendations, or similar stories from you folks?
Tell yourself your paranoia ain’t real. It’s not the old days, this is an entirely different job and you’ve been handling it admirably so far until now. The problem is all the stuff you’ve been telling yourself. Tell yourself instead that you will keep going forward just like the first three weeks. Maybe, it was just a “slip” and won’t happen again. One comment doesn’t mean anything in the grand scheme of things. Keep going, you can do it!
I’m sorry things spiraled for you at work. I had that happen to me a couple times at the one job I’ve held post-psychosis onset. To get myself through the day while in an actively delusional state, I just tried to focus on physical details in my environment to sort of ground me, remind me of what was actually real. Things were always better the next day.
Usually some small ideas of reference, about a 2 out of 10 on the Paranoia Scale, some difficulty understanding what the TV is saying (so I use Closed Captioning)… And this is on an off-day.
Most of the time, my symptoms are kept at bay by the meds.
Knocking on wood it stays that way
How have you been coping with your landscaping business and the illness?
It has been going well thanks. I have been having off days post-weekend on Monday-Tuesday but I managed to avoid that this week.
I am between projects at the moment, so I gave myself a day off and a day to tie up loose ends.
Making things as stress free as I can.
With your situation, I suggest if your problems are anxiety based or not, you need to get your treatment team on top of this. Make it a priority for your healthcare provider to allow you to keep your job. It’s so important in many ways what you’re trying to do, and they need to be making sure they support you in trying to do this.
I really hammered home with mine the importance of working rather than not doing anything, and made them understand that people need extra and different supports doing this.
Wish you best of luck. Set backs happen all the time, but try and remember the good days rather than the bad (I know this can be hard, but make the most out of the good days)
That’s great-- those off-days can be tough so it’s important to just be kind to yourself when they happen.
It seems like they’re tied to stress and anxiety for sure. At the moment, I’ve pretty much just got a pdoc, as I’m not a huge fan of webcam-based therapy sessions with my therapist. But I’m realizing now that she’s been a big help so far, and maybe I should tough out the telehealth component.
I think medical professionals have an unfortunate tendency to write us off when it comes to employment. I mean, when I first met my therapist, she told me I might be better off in an assisted living home. The medical community seems to not understand the importance of living as independently as one is able. It’s all about having the proper resources and team behind you to do so-- and that’s something that can be extremely difficult to find.
Couple weeks before I left the restaurant, I had a similar situation. I was more stressed that it had happened than it was there at all.
I say, try to forget it happened and be really really reasonable with yourself. Telling yourself you felt uneasy about something and that it maybe good to speak to a manager that it happened and how they can help you.
For me, I left mainly because I subconsciously had made the reasoning that it’d affect my studies too much. In the end it was appropriate for me,
For yourself, maybe the above advice is something worth considering, so that your job is secure even if you do feel particularly unwell.
Perhaps talk to family and try to feel more comfortable or at ease before you go into work?
