Glad I could be of help. Sometimes knowing you’re not the only one going through this also helps. Which is why sites like these are really helpful.
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This is something I do too… When I’m feeling suicidal, I’ll tell myself I won’t take any action until a certain target i.e. the next morning or night… Often the thoughts are gone by then or I have some relief from them. During the moments when the thoughts are strong, I find it helpful to punch the hell out of a pillow, scream into my pillow, or just curl up in bed with my iPod for a few hours, anything that isn’t harmful just to get through the moments as they pass. I tell myself it’s ok to feel this way, just not to act on it. It’s a good idea to write a list or plan of healthy coping strategies for when you feel this low and can’t think of how to get through it. Best wishes.
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I have thought that it may be some one else’s thoughts and action because I have difficulties believing that any one would want to kill them self so I think someone else may of put that thought in their head as a hateful malicious attack and or possess their body.
I do not want Such in my body but have felt hateful hysterical person in my body.
Hope you feel better soon.
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It’s a struggle to get through those hard times… I just quit my job because I started running into that at work… got to the point where I was on the brink of just losing it and knocking something over or shouting at a customer… just laughing in their face or something… decided to just call it quits at that.
The world will expect that you just fight through all of it and behave normally… mentally ill or not they dumb-■■■■ normies lose sight of internal struggling perpetually and will just expect you to be normal… all the sudden… and indefinitely… from my experience it doesn’t matter how deeply you explain what you are going through or how solidly they seem effected by it… they will forget and just fall back on wanting things to be normal (they literally fight for normalcy to be the way… they just like it that way and they struggle with a lot of the same shit to.)
Anyways… as a fellow mentally ill person… I’d advise that you look at your future and determine how to best navigate it having your particular mental illness. You can’t control people or their expectations… you also can’t expect anything in return in them being sympathetic… but you will have untold amounts of potential to set up bastion in your life. Your alone time and places of peace or events that you can fall back on… and if you do that right no one will have any right or reason to try and remove you from your peace.
■■■■■■■ assholes are insensitive… even my mother is insensitive as hell regarding what goes on in my experience…
I can see what you are struggling with… I’m sorry it sets in like that at times. Medications can probably help… long term though… just consider situational removal from the stimulus that triggers you.
It probably is a lot of disjointed regarding the ultra-sound that is making everything else… insufferable.
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