Sudden attack but I guess I'm calming down now

DX'd - Sz/SzA
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Now everytime I have an attack, I feel the urge to come here and tell someone. Gah!! It’s happening again!

I feel frustrated and angry which actually means I’m recovering some because before I had zero emotions but fear. Even that wasn’t that bad. Now the paranoia is painful. I’m frustrated and angry because I just want to be normal. Obviously, I don’t want to be in pain with every action a constant battle. Stupid words set me off. I’m tired of this.

And it happens so quick. One minute I’m fine, the next I’m in disabling fear. One minute I’m having normal conversation. The next minute I’m hearing stuff. I just want to not live on edge all the time.

I take meds but I’m skeptical that they are helping me at all at this point. I’ll keep taking them, I just don’t really see them as working. Nothing works. I keep trying tho.

You guys are my wrap around now. I appreciate it.

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Keep your head up and hang in there. :chicken::chicken::chicken:

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Thank you. I’ll try. :slight_smile:

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Hmm?.

Don’t Let The River Of Deceit Run The Stones Away From Your Breath In Blinks!. . .

Hope, True Love, Joy, And Peace!.

P.s. Mother Nature Doesn’t Bleed With A Heart She Bleeds With Trees, Like Seas. . . . . . .

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Sz suck, it made me very irritable and even violent sometimes as a result. I was never a violent person before sz, I was very shy and calm. But now with proper meds stopping positive symptoms and reducing stress to minimum its manageable for me most of the time, which means that I can control my anger and calm it most of the time. Also I got better managing my anger with time and experience.

I also find it weird that I have 0 emotions and when I do its only anger and violence.
If you still have positive symptoms you might want to try Risperdal or if its not working, Clozapine.

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@Inezinez Wait, I feel like I’m in the same situation you’re in. I’m taking my meds, but still having problems with symptoms. Hope it gets better for you. I’m hoping it gets better with meds increase.

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@Aziz I feel the same, I feel I was so passive before, then Sz made me have violent thoughts which I’m afraid would lead to behavior.

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Being on meds helped a lot with violent thoughts, I get them much less and when I do they are more in the background and I can ignore them. Off meds I used to hide knives under my bed to attack my brother bcz I thought he caused my sz.

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@Aziz That’s good to hear, cause I’m gonna push my pDoc quickly up my meds. My old meds stopped working and I’m hoping new ones kick in soon.

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Good luck with the new meds.

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@Inezinez Have you talked to your doctor about alternative meds? Maybe you can find one that works.

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I’m so struggling right now

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I’m still on a relatively low dose of abilify. We we’ll probably agree to increase the dosage again before actually switching meds. But a meds change may eventually in order

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@Inezinez Do you need to be in hospital care if its really bad right now?

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I definitely have considered it. It’s THAT bad at moments but my doc and therapist all agree that really the hospital is my last resort because they may strip me of all my meds and prescribe something completely against what doc and I want. I can ask them not to. I can ask that they contact my doc. But the variable is still there. It’s a possibility which would be very bad

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Of course I’m told to go to hospital if I don’t feel stable or in an emergency. But it’s not really an emergency…

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Yeah that’s scary.

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