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Stymied by therapy

I have some sort of block when it comes to therapy. I’ve been seeing T for about a year now. I know I need help but I don’t know what the problem is. I have some trauma in my past but don’t feel the need to dredge it up. I don’t want to share too much with this guy because he might send me back to the hospital. I haven’t felt myself for about 2 weeks now, I’ve been super anxious, oversleeping and isolating. Nothing in my life has changed except for stress over an upcoming presentation for class. I haven’t been hearing any voices since January but I feel like someone else’s thoughts are being inserted into my head. Bad thoughts to hurt myself and that I’m worthless, but its not like before when it was a separate voice commanding me to do so. I see pdoc next week and I’ll tell him what’s going on but I don’t feel comfortable with telling the therapist. Is it time to look for a new therapist or should I keep on working with this guy. Today he told me he feels guilty because he doesn’t know how to help me or get through to me. Which made me feel bad because I’m wasting this guy’s time. I feel like such a failure. I guess I’m looking for suggestions or support here.

He wont send you back to the hospital- and its better to talk about traumatic events. I have had to overcome this block youre speaking about and it did me a whole lot of good. You just need to talk to them like you would a parent or someone you are open with and seek advice from- the thing is, they have answers ready, theyre professionals. Parents and family dont have PhD’s in psychology.

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I’m not Sz, but I live with my older brother who is. We have been in a lot of therapy together. One thing that helped my brother writing out what he does and doesn’t want to discuss.

Even for me, it’s easy for a conversation to gravitate to a very deep issue. But that doesn’t mean I’m ready to face it or talk about it with a stranger. Some therapist do try and “push through that block” and I do begin to shut down and I feel the defenses go up.

Other’s are sort of at a loss when they can’t get through that wall and they feel like they haven’t done their job.

There have been some therapist that both my brother and I have been able to say something along the lines of, “I understand your trying to help with this deeper issue, but I need help on this smaller issue instead.”

In my humble opinion, I feel a good therapist will respect that and will leave the sore spot alone. Or handle it more gently. Once trust and respect has developed, then it’s easier to talk about deeper issues later.

I hope you have enough of a rapport with this person that you feel confident in telling him or her what your comfortable with and what you really don’t feel like facing right now.

Hope this helps. Thank you for letting me post.

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Do you know why you don’t feel comfortable telling your therapist? It sounds like he really does want to help. Sometimes you have to trust someone in order to find out if they are trustworthy. Maybe a little leap of faith will go a long way. If you are not ready then talk to your pdoc.

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Thanks Kidsis and Mortimermouse for the replies. I’ve had this block with all therapists since I was 18, I guess it is a distrust. I’m only open with my bf and even then I don’t tell him everything, I hold alot back. I’m not that close with anyone. My pdoc says that I’m doing a lot in terms of getting better, going to therapy and DBT group, attending classes. But I feel like I’m just spinning my wheels in therapy. We’ve talked about me seeing someone else but I’ve got a relationship with this guy now it took a whole year to get to this point, I can’t imagine starting over. He also said I’m one of his most difficult patients because people usually come in with problems they want to talk about, but I don’t know what to talk about. Which causes more anxiety and compounds it all. His questions lead the whole session and they are usually innane, like about stuff I did during the week not about anything important. I’m just frustrated with myself. I learned last week that frustration is actually anger, I guess that means I’m a really angry person (lol)!

Do you think and /or feel you need to be in therapy? If so, what do you want from it? If, not, …

If you want to do it, maybe this guy isn’t the right one for you. Maybe it’s him, wasting your time. I’ve never been in therapy so I can’t help you otherwise.

it’s alot to go through…hang tough

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At first I had a difficult time opening up to my therapist. Now its easier for me to trust her

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i am telling my therapist everything which she finds uncomfortable but hey that is her job !
luckily i do trust her but she is definitly thinking sometimes of having me put in hospital because i have no self preservation.
for me talking about everything is a good thing, surprisingly, i start trauma cbt this tuesday and am happy about it.
take care

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this is how i put it once when you start therpay its like opening a can of worms you want to put the lid back on but you cant you have to let the worms wriggle out and die so you can feel better i totally understand what your going through its not easy but you can do it!

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My T made a comment about my anger and frustration with myself being lethal, I’m missing that self-preservation aspect too. Good luck with the Trauma CBT, let us know how it goes. I’ve only been through DBT and am not sure about CBT or what it is.

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This is very big news. I hope all goes well and it turns out how you want it. It’s very brave of you to face your trauma. I admire that very much. Good luck with everything.

Have the jam, the scones and the lovely coffee ready before you leave so when you come home you get right down to business of enjoying them.

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hey thanks kidsis for your support.
take care