Okay, so I had a boyfriend before I was medicated. He realized that I was sick when I moved in with him and was very sweet to me about it. I heard his voice in my head telling me he was attracted to his female friend who was being very rude to me and I freaked out and attacked him. I didn’t hurt him but shortly after this he yelled at me to leave and he knew I had nowhere to go.
His female friend that was being rude to me attacked me, cornering and punching me while he stood by and watched. She called the police on me and wouldn’t let me get any of my belongings. He blocked me on Facebook after I left and he had no phone so I had no other way of getting ahold of him. My mother found out about what happened and asked him via FB if she could pick up my things and he said yes, that he would get ahold of her the next day. Then he blocked her too and I had no way of getting my things back.
I feel terrible for attacking him and now that I’m medicated I know it was wrong of me and I would never do that in a normal state of mind. I am heartbroken because I still love him but I’m torn because I feel like he should have at least given me my things back. But then a part of me thinks that I probably scared him and he just didn’t even want anything else to do with me.
What do you guys think? Should I be upset that he didn’t try to be more understanding that I was sick? Should I be mad that he didn’t give me my things back? Should I be upset that he let his friend attack me when he knew I was sick and obviously confused? I’m torn because I feel like I messed up by attacking him and I still love him but at the same time he really hurt my feelings by letting his friend do that to me, kicking me out and not giving my stuff back.