I wrote here about a month ago, stating that I was scared of going to work.
I still am, and I can’t put words to why. I’ve been absent for so long that I feel like I’m no use there anymore. I also fear having a talk with the boss.
I know it’ll come, but I don’t know when.
I feel like it might be my illness keeping me back, because it’s the same feeling I get when the voices don’t want me to do something, lik eating or crossing the road.
Is there anything I can do?
I mean other than getting myself together and just doing it?
(srsly “just do it” is no help to me. If I could just do it, I would have. Y’know?)
What if you tried doing other things you’re uncomfortable with first? Like putting yourself in progressively more anxiety provoking situations so you can build up your confidence with them in general? Exposure really is the best way to handle anxiety. If there are any steps you could take to reduce the anxiety you feel about going back to work, that could also be helpful. Like calling your boss to talk to them about this.
Maybe you can find out why? Was it because of office politics? Overloaded job? Unclear roles and responsibilities?
None of those. I honestly don’t know why.
It’s like I can’t physically bring myself to go there. I can’t wake up in the morning no matter what time I go to bed, and when I do wake up, it takes me ages to be somewhat coherent.
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Are you sure it’s not avolition? 
Or a combination?
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Go to work is different than activity like go to shopping.
Imagine you will be going for shopping tomorrow. Would you still be in the same mood?
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It might be avolition, I’ve been having huge problems with that.
@Zoom It takes me a while to get myself to go shopping too, but I see it as a necessary evil, as I can’t eat if I don’t have food, and I freaking hate being hungry.
Are you seeing a therapist? Dealing with avolition is pretty different from dealing with anxiety. When you say you can’t physically bring yourself to go to work, that sounds like avolition. It’s not an easy thing to make it better, but being stable, clean and well-medicated are probably the first steps you need to take (if you haven’t). My avolition used to be really bad, but now I function pretty well.
Actually I’ve got an appointment with a shrink on the 25th to talk about medicines, and to possibly make a change in them.
I’m currently on 25mg Abilify.
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Abilify is one of the better ones for avolition, but it can induce some anxiety. Also, many things will make avolition worse, like being stressed, anxious, depressed, psychotic, sleeping badly, and so on. Maybe a change in medication will help. If avolition is your problem, you will probably need to have a long-term focus, though. This might not be the right time for you to go back to work.