The other day I dropped my friend and her boyfriend off in the city for them to hang out. They were going to get a ride back from someone else. I called my friend after dropping them off and told her that if she couldn’t get a ride I could give them one back later that night.
Hours later I was in my basement watching a movie when I get a call from an unfamiliar number and the first thing the lady asked was, “where is your location”. She mentioned my friend’s name and her boyfriend’s name. I thought they had been taken hostage. I called the city and police and had the county police come to my home. The whole time images of them dying or being beaten were flying through my head.
It turns out the lady who called was a restaurant owner and my two friends had asked to use her phone. It was just a really unlucky mix-up. They were fine. It did take me a while to find them.
The catastrophic thinking is just really intense lately. I came home after a haircut today and my friend was not there and I thought she had killed herself.
I don’t need any advice I just want someone to tell me that this is part of suffering from schizophrenia. I don’t feel well, in fact I feel awful most of the time and if I’m doing better I just feel okay and numb. I want to feel stable and good. Help.
This IS part of the suffering of sz. There are times where I feel terrible for months on end. But it does move eventually.
But it also sounds like you are a bit unwell, can you speak to your pdoc about a med increase? Jumping to conclusions and calling the police are a sign that maybe your meds aren’t covering you enough.
I was on AP’s for 4 years then quit cold turkey. That landed me in the hospital twice for 17 days total. I am on monthly Invega injection and Lamictal, Seroquel among as needed anxiety+sleep+side effect drugs.
I see my doctor on January 10th.
I just pray all the time and make my way through the black mud.
@Nomad
You should have more okay and numb days and less call the police days if you are on meds. Please talk to your doctor on the 10th. In the meantime, remind yourself that you matter. You have an illness. You are important. The illness affects your thinking, so that you do things you would not normally do.
I relate to this a lot @Nomad. If my family didn’t come home when they said they were I used to break out into tears thinking they had been kidnapped or murdered.
Just know that things don’t stay bad forever. Finding the right combination of meds can help tremendously. Hope your pdoc appointment goes smoothly and you can get some relief.
When I was unwell, I would freak out if Mr. Star walked to a different aisle in the grocery store while my back was turned. I would turn around, and he’s be gone, and I’d think I made him up in my head and I was actually all alone. It was scary, but it went away. You just started your new meds. It can take up to 8 weeks for them to work properly. Just hang on.