My old care coordinator told me today that it puts unfair pressure on my family that I told her the only reason I am still here is because of them.
I don’t understand how this is true when I do not tell them this is the case.
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Ideally, it would be great if you could live for yourself, but if your family is what’s getting you through right now, that works. I don’t think it puts undue pressure on them unless you tell them they’re the only reason you stick around.
I don’t want to be like my dad. He killed himself when he had a young family. I could never do that to my mum, it would break her.
I fail to see a point anymore. I work, but that’s all I do. Everything else has remained ■■■■■■ since I was left psychotic for nearly a year and people were either pushed away by me or they didn’t want to be involved with someone clearly losing their mind.
Never recovered from the damage, and it’s getting tiresome now. Even with a job, just seems ■■■■■■■ pointless.
One thing that I’ve learned from life is that as long as you’re still breathing, there is always a chance it will get better. And then get worse again, then better, then bad, then good. Life likes to mix it up a lot.
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I guess. Four years is a long time to wait though. I guess I am just getting itchy feet and kicking up a fuss :-/
Are there any small changes you can make? A lot of life is out of our control, but maybe there are things within your control that can help. Are you unhappy with the situation you’re in, or do you just find yourself unable to feel pleasure no matter what?
I was told to approach a charity that provides support. I wasn’t sure what to say so I emailed them asking for information. They do a Tuesday Night support group, so may try that and see if I can make some friends or find better ways of coping.
Just despairing unnecessarily at the moment. My mind finds every excuse to put everything down. Not conducive of making someone pleasant to be around. I have been pretty good at just ignoring myself the past few years, but my willpower is wearing thin and the torrent of abusive thought paranoia I am getting less better at coping with at the moment.
Pleasure is a funny thing. I should be happy as I have managed to work and live independently. Just seems utterly pointless as that its all I do. I guess I have an idealised perception of what normal life is and I am angry with myself that I probably cannot achieve it and have been failing to do so.
You never know what you might accomplish one day. The support group sounds like a really good step towards becoming more social. When I lived in Philly, all I ever did was work. I worked weird hours, and nobody was ever off at the same time as me. I was pretty miserable, so I started going to a game night at a local comic book shop. I didn’t make any lasting friends, but it at least got me to interact with other adults for a few hours a week.
It’s coming up to three years stable for me, and only now am I beginning to see some light at the end of the tunnel. If you’re getting itchy feet, that’s good as you want more out of life. If you’re working and living independently, that’s huge.
Think a lot of us have been there living for our family. I don’t see anything at all wrong with this. I think your therapist is way out of line to suggest that. Some people commit suicide and don’t think of the pain they would put there loved ones through. You are thoughtful and you love your family. Some people live for there pets ,there job, faith ,or hope for things to come. Who cares what you hold to when times are tough ,it’s just important that you hold on to something.
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I was offered housing and benefits when I was first diagnosed, but when it came to going through with it I said no, I want to work and pay my own way no matter what.
I work for a fairly big company in a good job, my auntie, mum and two of my cousins work there and my mum has known the owner for years and got me an entry-level position. Without that I would have been unemployed as no one would employ me as I couldn’t handle interviews at all.
I guess it might be the exposure to these people and hearing about what they’re doing with their lives shows me everyday what we are all missing out on.
Wow, you’re really lucky.
shows me everyday what we are all missing out on.
Yeah, I used to get what I call "normie envy " too. But that’s only natural. It’s becoming less of an issue for me though, the more stability I have under my belt.
Do you think I just need to carry on an just accept that what I am doing is achievement enough to keep motivated and stop trying to push it too far?
What you have already accomplished is huge, but if you want more, then you should keep trying for more. Keep taking positive steps to improve your life, and things will start to fall into place.
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King Solomon noted as one of the wisest people in the Bible. Had unmeasurable wealth many wives and he used all his power to seek pleasure. In the end he found that God was the only thing to fulfill his needs. He found pleasure in seeking God when nothing else satisfied him. I think to some extent at some point in all our lives we all recognize the emptiness of life. Were here today gone tomorrow. God is the only eternal thing we can hold on to. I truly believe that those that truly seek God , will find him and will find purpose.
I’m glad that works for you. It isn’t the answer for everyone.
I don’t indulge in god.
I have enough problems with delusional thinking to add anything else to the list.
If it works for you then great, just not for me.
I am happy to wait till I die to spend an eternity having a space odyssey experience or a trip to heaven or hell if that’s what my previous psychosis suggests is thinly veiled under the reality experienced by most people.
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It’s always an option when all else fails and is on the table for all people. I understand were you guys stand I know it seems pretty silly to a lot of people. I’ve found so much healing in seeking God it’s hard not to share when I see people hurting.
I don’t think it’s silly. If people didn’t have these things then we would live in a nihilistic society and it would not be conducive to a functional world. I use functional in the loosest possible way.
I appreciate that you want to share something that has really helped you. However I have made a conscious decision to completely remove anything like that from my life and I deal with whatever happens in my own way if indeed there is another form energy takes when the vehicle facilitating my consciousness ceases to exist.
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Ummm I think your family puts unfair pressure on you for forcing you to stay here lol. No but seriously that’s a bad way to put it I don’t agree w what your coordinator said 