My boyfriend is in a position to be hired full time at the warehouse he works as a forklift operator for. If he does, he’s looking at a $4/hour jump in wages, plus annual raises. So the other day he mentioned to me that if he gets the full time position, he’d want to start looking at houses. He’s ready to settle down and find a place to spread out and call home, he’s been living out of boxes and totes most of his life.
Here’s the scary part: his plan includes me. He wants me to move in with him, to live together, have a life together. And that’s what I want too! But I don’t know if I’m ready. Getting married, having kids together, it’s all so scary! But my family are my caretakers, without them I don’t know if I could handle myself. But I’m 30 years old now, I guess now’s as good a time as any to be settling down and taking care of myself. Besides, I’ll still have him to help me, though I’ll be taking care of him just as much. And kids! Oh my goodness, having small people to take care of and watch over, that thought terrifies me! What if I have an episode? Do they go stay with my parents until I stabilize? There are so many unknowns, I just can’t help but worry. But I’m starting to think that I actually WANT kids, which flies in the face of everything I’ve thought for my whole life! I never wanted children, they terrify me, but here I am, approaching the start of middle age, and my baby timer is starting to go off. Obviously we’d have to adopt, or use a surrogate, but I think I could be happy with a child, after so long telling myself that it could never happen.
Overall I want to have a life with him, and raise a family, and be a good mom and a loving wife. I just don’t know if I can. Wish me luck!
Thats good news! I think this place can use more good news from time to time - lots of negative posts lately, including some of my posts! I think that if you love him and trust him - why not! Just make sure you do a lot of planning before you make such a big commitment - I got married and moved out - away from my caretakers at the time, my folks - best of luck to you @RowanAmethyst
@RowanAmethyst
I am supper happy for you. You and your guy have been through hell together and are together still…
I still picture you starting your own business… so I bet you two will have a very amazing life together.
As far as kids… you and your guy HAVE stuck together through stuff that most neurotypicals would have cut and run over. So the partnership is tight.
I think you would be a very good parent. You have excellent insight… you are very proactive with your health…
If you do have kids… I know you will take them into consideration when making a crisis plan. You’ll still have your family around… You’ll still live in the area of your boyfriends job… so it’s not like your family will be states away.
It could be very viable to have the kids stay with the grandparents while either of you take care of your health. But don’t get too bogged down by the long term.
For now… just live together. Just that much… then the next step… then the next.
A very wise 9 year old once told me… “How do you eat the biggest cake in the world? One bite at a time.”
A huge Congratulations and good vibes heading your way.
Yes starting a life with someone can be scary. One step at a time. Kids won’t happen overnight so you will have time to adjust in your new role of being a partner. Good for you!
Every major decision brings doubts and worry. If this is something you want then go for it. Situations like this don’t come around often, take advantage. Think of yourself in 30 years, will you look back and regret not doing this? Regret is a terrible thing.
**Very happy for you Rowan!
Its all good--one step at a time. You are very lucky that you have your boyfriend AND family behind you. Im very excited for you **
I say you have nothing to lose. If it doesn’t ever work out with your partner then you can always go back to your parents. I did at the age of 36 until I was about 42. I wish you the best.
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