I’ve suppressed my illness for 18 years. In talking to myself I am imagining what its like or would be if I stopped taking my anti-psychotics. I think I would begin to feel like I was high. I wouldn’t want to come down. I would be detached. But it would feel amazing. But then there are other stereotypical symptoms, like becoming irrational and out of touch. In the end, I’d be more or less the same if I can learn to integrate and evolve.
Im sure if I felt like I was high and happy, then I’d be faced with the polarity of that–dark and depressed. Thankful for medication like Abilify. Its a life saver. There is a part of me that is fighting taking it right now. There is a voice inside of me that keeps telling me that schizophrenia is an illusion. I feel more connected to the soul when it starts wearing off, but then things are intense. keeping things mellow is best for me.
I never associated psychosis with being happy. The difference between getting high on drugs and the supposed high from psychosis is that drugs are temporary and you come down. Are you forgetting that when you’re in psychosis you’re usually in it, 24/7 for months and even years, with no relief?
You make really clear points. You sound like you’re doing really well. I have to avoid so much in the real world, but I’m doing ok. I’m a lot happier when Im not having symptoms. Have been working on gratitude and knowing there are things I cannot change.
I watched a video about what its like in downtown Vancouver, where drugs are legalized. It doesn’t seem like it helps people but more like they are turning a blind eye to the effects of addiction/not fully addressing the problem.
My best approach to addiction is to avoid anyone who would use/is in active addiction. My schizophrenia doesn’t come from drugs because I didnt use drugs before I became unwell. I was fifteen/sixteen when I got the worst of it, then still waited until 18 to smoke my first cigarette. Didnt ever drink until I was 21 but I read stuff online that said marijuana could cure schizophrenia.
If I could go back in time I would have never smoked, drank, or did anything in attempts to “cure” my disease, it didn’t cure my schizophrenia and nearly killed me plus added health problems. I still have to face that I have this illness. Better choices is improving things a ton for me and coping skills instead of trying to blunt/numb the paranoia.
You sound pretty clear yourself. I’m doing just OK. If the neighbors aren’t bugging me, then I’m OK mentally.
I think I read somewhere that when they legalize drugs there is still be that faction that are hardcore users but it doesn’t send as many recreational users to jail. I guess that’s the whole point, I don’t know if legalizing them decreases drug use.
Avoiding drugs while you’re schizophrenic is basic
Mental Health 101. You’re doing exactly what AA recommends by avoiding people who do drugs, they also recommend not hanging out where drugs are being used. That’s good that you are doing better and not trying to cure yourself through drugs. I found as I got older my symptoms became less intense and more manageable, when I was younger I often feared I would be hospitalized, now I rarely think about it. Stay off drugs and stay on a good path to recovery and maybe you’ll get even better than you are now, good luck.