Schizophrenia.com

Inside my head

My voices tell me an old counselor of mine is stalking me, intercepting my e-mails and having hidden video cameras in my apartment. This is a counselor from 20 years ago mind you. Lately I have been answering the voices back calling them liars but I’m not so sure they are. These delusions have made me homeless in the past. My pdoc swears the voices aren’t real but to me they sound every bit as real as the flesh and blood people in my life. I hate these voices, I wish they would go away.

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Don’t listen to them and try to forget they’re there when you can.

They aren’t real.

The stronger amount of faith you have in believing they aren’t real the better off your going to be.

It’s tough I know, but you gotta do it. It’s going to take time as well. Don’t give up. They aren’t real and they never have been.

Voices suck man. I’m sorry,

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Thank you for your support. I really like it here, everyone knows just what it is like to have this damn disease and won’t look at me sideways. Something I really appreciate.

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You may be under more careful watch by others (family for example) nowadays than you were before seeing that counselor.

Subconscious memory is vaguely resurfacing the numbers but you’re doing the maths wrong.

Most people do this, btw, but don’t realize they’re doing it. Some of us actually catch ourselves doing it and fancy ourselves clairvoyants. lol.

There’s usually a little bit of objective truth to everything but I’ve found that in order to almost get to that truth we really have to analyze, re-analyze and analyze again.

As for ‘voices’

I experienced ‘mind reading’ every so often whether the voices were coming to my head or people I spoke to seemed to know what I was on about without telling them (or the expressions they make appear to be synchronized with what I was thinking at that time.).

I concluded that telepathy is real but not experiencing it until my early twenties resulted in a shock that tripped an ironic process where in I was so afraid that I might easily pick up outside interference that my mind fabricated such as a nervous tension relief.

Once I realized I could shut that ‘eye’ (by simply believing it shut) the arguing with others in my head ceased.
Oh yes, there was arguing with voices who claimed that they could force it open and then I realized how much excess time I had on my hands and that all this imaginative bickering was result of being bored with life because outside of trying not to get fired from a meaningless 9 to 5 there was not enough sophisticated material to keep me intellectually stimulated. My fear then became a much more rational fear of brain death.

I like to say there are strange sciences at play but never as malicious as we dread.

my voices have stopped thankfully and i dont interpret them anymore but take them for what they are: just random strangers taking randoms things which are on their mind.

I think there’s a lot of junk in the air to be quite frank.

Some stupid scientists out there might tossing images around for experimental purposes.

I usually collect interference when meditating or trying to fall asleep…those times when our minds are more
contiguous.

Once you get used to it, it can be fascinating; sometimes even funny…like a personal joke that you keep to yourself.

And I know the negative part of my mind (it’s in us for a logical reason)
does a lot of ‘toilet flushing’ so for a few hours each day (while trying to concentrate on other stuff)
I’ll start having unsolicited offensive thoughts (sometimes they’re really funny.)
I think this happens to everyone but some of us are intelligent enough to slow things down enough to notice.

yeah i used to have funny thoughts myself which have exploited my early teenage years wishes of how the encounters i would have with the oppsite sex ought to be. its strange really that they go down this path instead of giving me my most recent worldview. i used to despise my teenage years for wasting it but the voice still made me consider those years to be most fruitful.

“Run to Paradise”

I didn’t hide behind stained glass windows but still only had a good two years of limelight.

I’ve overcome that feeling of a wasted teen life just recently.

I don’t know if this will make sense but I realized that I didn’t miss out on anything. What I would’ve liked the most just simply isn’t achievable in this current existence. intelligent design isn’t that intelligent I guess you could say.

A lot of my teen chums have grown up with kids they can only see once a week and have to listen to their stories about their other wealthier dad.

Those people that did get a lot of romantic affirmation wound up getting emotionally battered in ways that my heart is far to weak to ever have been able to dealt with and I’m a firm believer that we’re only given what we can handle.

Hey, wanna know what? What I just said above is that Rolling Stones song. Ha ha

for me ist the oppsite alot of the people who had teenage wishes to live with their partner actually got their wishes fullfilled im the only guy who was not only stepped on but never got his wishes fullfilled i dont take it personal but really dont pay much attention to it if they come i would accept them if not i dont care about it

Ha ha - are their partners still with them?

My old mates are on their fourth wives and sixth kids now. XD

I finally settled down with someone once I hit my thirties. I’ve been with her for over ten years now.
In the end I found that it was about finding someone else with genuine autonomy who was in need of someone reliable and not someone just to foot their bill because they looked good for what ever superficial image they were trying to maintain at that time.

yeah they got their wishes fullfilled and are still with their partners and experience other wishes as they go living their lives but im the only guy who hasnt had his wishes fullfilled really all that i got is this schizophrenia

Yeah, as I said about being given only what we can handle.

Apparently they wouldn’t have been able to handle very much.

You on, the other hand, have been given a 500 pound gorilla (look up Douglas Adams’s "Somebody Else’s Problem SEP ) to handle. Personally, I would be flattered and big-headed.

There are a good number that Brady Bunch their way through life but they don’t learn much of anything that would be useful in a real and genuinely functional world.

They need things like ‘Glory’ to survive.

Nutters like us are made of tougher stuff.

its all ■■■■■■■■ though i could live a life without schizophrenia and be happy this didnt have to happen

When I take into consideration my original demeanor and ambition I’m afraid that without my mental illness I would’ve grown up much more superficial.

As unpleasant as the storm was while adapting - it left me with much more sophistication and depth.

The world, in general, seems to be less receptive of me now but that’s another story called “Flowers for Algernon.”

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I have abandoned ship on the voices or images of people that I see being “not real”. To hell with that mentality. Now, do I ever trust anything they say? No.

Imagine we die and move onto the next plane of existence, only to find out there were still people stuck on this plane of existence trying to communicate to us. Now, how BS would that be? That we were right all along?

If the voices aren’t real, kudos. But that doesn’t help me stop them. They adapted and just “laugh out loud” at the fact that I don’t believe they are real. They criticize that non-belief in fact.

I’ve never heard voices but I’ve read enough posts about them in 6 years to know that they lie. I think you would like to believe me…if you have a choice, right?

sorry you are going through this :heart:
they are not real…the voices.
take care :alien: