Anyways I started putting them in at night. It really does dampen the auditory triggers and there is a certain bit of tinnitus to it that allows me to balance the native voices. It’s been a few days but it really has given me some peaceful sleep.
So to whoever that was. Thank you, great idea. With the sleep mask on its total sensory deprivation and it makes it so much easier to forget the world and disconnect from the concept that the SZ is real. I still bounce in and out of the delusional state. Have a good sense of reality 75% of the time. The ear plugs give me that silence at night that I think is really required to firmly cement that in.
I made it to 2 years without meds, then went psychotic. Meds may not help your positive symptoms (you said this), but you should consider them to prevent psychosis.
I was like you, struggling every day, coming up with various new coping mechanisms, but it wore me down in the end.
Still, I had to learn the hard way. I’m just saying this so you don’t have to learn the hard way. Psychosis can actually kill you.
It’s more the stresses of real life that are getting to me these days than the illness. I know my psychosis and my fears well.
I was considering trying abilify this summer, but I’m used to the experience I’m having now, my mom was pushing it a couple weeks ago, but I did not want to mess up my chemistry before this trip I’m going on tomorrow.
I’ll get back and try to start working cleaning apartments, if I run into stability issues then I’ll have no choice. In the mean time though the psychosis does dwindle and change and fight for its existence, but it’s easing up. I know it’s losing because it’s trying all sorts of new ■■■■■■■■ to find new buttons to press, because I’ve squared away the past ones.
The telepathic messages I have are less frequent and even difficult to care about. When the messages don’t manifest and all I hear are voices attempting to make the messages but failing because I’m not focusing through that part of my brain any more. It’s reassuring that it’s all in my head.
I need more hobbies, more work, more money. By the end of the year I’ll at least be on top of my life, from there I’ll be able to really move forward.
I’ll keep you all updated. I know you are concerned.