So much loss

DX'd - Other
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I’ve lost my ability to have a conversation (poverty of speech)

I can no longer work

My cognition is ■■■■■■

I struggle to even take a shower

I’m most excited when the day is over and I can be asleep. The days drag on forever.

I’m just waiting for the people still in my life to give up on me.

I’m not going to get any better than this. It all feels so pointless and I feel so alone. I feel pathetic rambling about my woes on this forum too. Why would anybody care.

Ah well, nearly time to sleep at least. I just woke my partner up by getting into bed and now he is angry with me. Perfect.

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I found that in my case its better to accept and to try to be happy with the negative symptoms rather than thinking about them. I used to only think and talk about negative symptoms but with time I dont anymore. I cant get out of bed most of the time so I found activities I can do in bed and in my room, vaping, music, youtube, family guy, simpsons, video games etc

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Hey I can relate to poverty of speech. These days I don’t even make sense when people talk to me at work. I just say random things barely relating to the topics others say.

It’s true that we’ve lost so much in this disease. But doesn’t mean we can’t build a new you. Sometimes we have to say good bye to the old self and move one forward with one foot in front of another. No matter what.

Don’t give up let’s keep walking😊

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Did you try Abilify? My negative symptoms were better on it but had to stop it due to side effects.

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No I haven’t tried that. I’m a bit worried it might be too activating and make my anxiety worse, but maybe it’s worth a shot.

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Thank you for your lovely message. I’m still mourning the loss of the old me because this whole mess only started a year ago for me. Hopefully I’ll find a way to move forward.

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My voices are saying I don’t know what it’s like to be a sz

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It can be a lot to take on for sure. But it can get better, believe me. Where I’m at now compared to where I was after only one year, is day and night

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i agree with @Cragger

with time it gets better.
for me when it started out it was a big mess but with meds and some self counselling i am in much better shape now of course many years later.

the bad thing about this disease is it takes many years of ur life.

although i had no problems showering and all it was very difficult for me to think properly or straight, in a way i was almost insane but that’s behind me now

the thing is u have to fight it, that and meds is the only way out

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I totally relate to this. My ability to think, etc has really gone down over the past several years.

I hope you improve overtime.

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i hope so too that you find a way to move forward… gotta try to accept things a bit i think… some things we just have to learn to live with…

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What I am having to wrap my head around, is not comparing myself to my pre-diagnosis self. Now I have to do what I can, from where I am at, with what I’ve got.

It’s a whole new ballgame, but it’s totally do-able

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I get the same thing, except for it’s more of a thought than voices.

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I can relate to how you are feeling. Then some random day things change. I try to be patient for that random day. :upside_down_face:

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I hope it gets better- the way I was prior to this is still so fresh in my mind though. I’m also so scared of losing everyone in my life and being all alone.

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Yeah I can relate. I had PTSD from a car accident I was in in 2001. It sounds like it rattled your cage pretty good.

I went through that phase of being afraid of losing everyone as well. What it did do, is separate the wheat from the chaff. It turns out I have three good friends in this world, and my sister. Everybody else not so much

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That is good that you found out who your really good friends were in the process. I’m scared most of losing my partner because I’m completely dependant on him and can’t work. I can’t imagine my life without him but i can see this getting to him in the end. Sorry to ramble on about all of this…

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I can see that. I’m sure I would feel the same way. It’s a vulnerable feeling.

I don’t mind talking about it at all

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Thank you, it means a lot to be able to vent. I often feel so alone in my worries.

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Thank you. I’m sorry to hear that your thinking has been impaired. I constantly feel like I am walking around in a fog and can’t think clearly at all. I feel so stupid and like my iq has dropped massively. It’s really hard

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