I am alone here in the nights. I watch some movies but I think so much that I am some kind of really tensed in my body. its almost like some supranatural energy, I dont know how to describe it… and in these moments, I always think that ill never recover, its cycling in my head. I am not sure that I am tensed because of my thinking but I guess it comes from it… do you think that this tension is because of my bad thinking? I dont feel comfortable in my skin since long ago… I make a grimace of suffering in these moments, maybe its tension. I doubt that these are body hallucinations…
somebody who got similar issues? I also feel my brain in my head, wow, not to scare you with this but I dont know why its like that(delusion?)…
people today get pissed off when you talk about character disorders,
an overused way of referring to those suffering from supposed mental illness.
But, if I can be completely blunt, Anna, you really need to get a life.
You shouldn’t be so blunt then Sherri
@Anna1 you should get some hobbies, find things you enjoy, go for hikes, get out of the house
Excuse miss daze.
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typical stuff I get banned for.
But they can’t, because they’re all about recovery, and that ain’t happening on this one.
Brain does not feel anything, does not feel pain either so a delusion. and yes bad thoughts can drive a person who lives alone to insanity, I know it stresses my nerves off the charts at times.
ill try harder yes but for the moment, I run away from people after 5 minutes of talk with them…
yeah, my isolation for the last 15 years made its damages too,its not all the sz… but I remember already in my teens my body incomfort when sitting just around a table with friends, my sweating, my bad heart pressure etc etc…
@Daze, you are harsch, maybe you’ve never met a ‘‘lazy’’ sz…since child I have no positive emotions, I gave up at my 20s… now, I should struggle, I wont discover a new life in 2 months…
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@Mountainman, yeah, maybe its my bad thinking to a point that I have headaches and this pressure in my head, its possible…I lived with messy thoughts since forever… I hope its manageable this one too… meds dont help on thinking isn’t it? wow, then it will be my first job, to occupy my brain better 
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Anna, I know your parents say the same things I do,
you’re no stranger. I’m sorry.
Sometimes we’d like to see something different from you.
yeah, my mother says that my complainings are hell
Anna, never listen to anyone who says you won’t recover. You are already starting to recover! Just keep trying and believing you can get better.
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Do what you can - and everything you can’t do is too much to ask. As for your thoughts, well, the mind does play tricks on us a lot.
thank you @Ninjastar, I am stupid to got in this hell. I wasn’t like this some years ago. sometimes I even think that its me who got in this hell… even one pdoc told to my mom that ive chose the bad path of living. I mean my evilness etc etc. plus, I smoked too much weed. but whatever… I look at my photos where I were young and I see that I dont smile even then, whatever…
otherwise, I smile more in real life. even if its ‘‘fake it till you make it’’
why it was so hard to smile when I was child? wow… happy years, yeah…
but did you had the same problem? iguess thinking is hard to recover isn’t it?
@Daze hurted me but I am not angry. its me who is too fragile still. a life? yeah…its over my skills now… I think sometimes that maybe I am really a borderline, I dont look like the most of szs here… I dont have episodes, its all chronical since child… I never met a sz with so many poor skills to socialize etc etc…maybe the reason daze doesn’t understand me
I’ve listened more attentively than anyone here, I bet.
The human spirit breaks through. I’ve been confirmed in the Holy Spirit: Elizabeth is my third name.
It’s also my daughter’s name.
Minni, please don’t suspend me.
dont worry. maybe I wont find an understanding from everybody, here like everywhere else. that’s why I dont see people anymore. I talk a lot about my issues, I even had the tendency to tell everybody that I am ill. now, I cant talk a lot in real life so I avoid people. and life without people its not still a life I guess
Not saying don’t talk, but do you get that even friends and family
get tired, they get not knowing what to say or do. Maybe you should get a blog
like I do, and just air everything.
I was once told by my college counselor:
“I can tell you don’t care anything about your classes or your betterment,
maybe you should take a semester off and go wait tables in Cedar Rapids.”
Yeah, I left crying.
Have you considered some sort of physical exercise? You need to sweat off these toxins
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sleepybug, ive started 15 minutes of stationary bike per day. you can imagine what my body carried for 15 years of inactivity… I dont have the strength to do it if I weren’t on meds…
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Just put on music you like and just wnjoy the process. That’s what you need. Enjoyment. Whatever you do just try to enjoy it. Exercise and food and movies and sleeping. Practice mindfulness. Focus on the sunshine
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