It’s tough to take a shower while you are being tortured you know.
After awhile you know you have to.
So, as you stand there in the water and they are in your mind and you think someone is dripping liquid down your back side you freak out.
True story. Torture can effect showering and hygiene, you might acquire a flat affect. But most don’t know this torture, they can do things in your mind and they are very very quick and have much ability.
So i stood there in the shower with demons. And i thought someone was dripping something down my spine from their creepy hands, it was the kind of hand you see in movies you know. Just me and them in the shower.
It’s like the time some guy gave you a hug and you thought his elongated tongue slipped out and slapped you on the back a little bit, they’re quick and can make you think anything. So he wraps his arms around you and his tongue comes out and reaches all the way down your back and hits you on the back.
Possession is a painful thing.
So you are standing there being burned up by pain and fear and they say “you better shut the ■■■■ up or you’ll be sorry!” as you ponder saying something about it. pain and fear.
It’s just you and them for years on end and everyone is disgusted by they way you act. They hate what you say and hate you because of the way you are. All the while it’s just you and them.
Well, I enjoy my showers by pouring hot water during cold days, and cold water during hot ones. I like the warmth or the cool. Maybe you should try to see it that way? I know what you are saying about the pain, but having no shower doesn’t help because others judge us for not showering. I shower every day because of this, and I found this trick to help me.
That sounds like a really shitty way to take a shower. Maybe you could do sponge bath and waterless shampoo for a while until that feeling goes away. If I had that to deal with, I would probably just smell.
Before I was aware of psychosis showering could be awful for me as well…I always felt like something else was in there with me, or started feeling like I was in danger…I’d always shower with my back to the wall. in the last house I lived it was very bad. If I ever sang in the shower, scratches and nail marks would appear on my legs.
There was something awful in that house…
Now the only thing I experience while showering is colorful lights. The shower is the place where I see the lights easiest for some reason. That and the walls moving. I like to just sit and watch it…couldn’t have done that in my old house that’s for sure!!
Hey pans. Sorry to hear you are going through that ■■■■. A lot of SZ folk have a hard time showering just as a weird symptom. But your experience of showers sounds terrifying. Don’t know what to say except am thinking for you bro.
Hee thank you for sharing… i don’'t know if it helps. But i had psychoses episode not that heavy but i do remember that when i showerd it really felt like some bubbles where attachted to me and some tentacle on my head broke off, when i showerd. My boyfriend who has a natural feeling to do what is right, especially when in need he told me, he went in to the shower with me, to wash my body. Just with water. So if i may suggest… if your shower start with your toes, wash in between your toes. Go up to your legs wash them with your hands. Your inner thighs, your bellybutton very important your root energy as i may say so, is coming from there. As you move forward to your upper body, take your time or a short time. Whatever you need. It is a cleaning proces which very helped me. And you know what… Water no gets enemey. I have to say one thing about your head when you wash it. Be carefoul with it:) don’t forget to wash your ears, some slymi ■■■■ may come out of it. And your nose, snorkel with water. And add some bubble talk with water, it will remove some slymi ■■■■. Luke warm water is the best. Find out Yourself. I bet you are pretty hot. And sorry to still go on water… drink some water, like 2 liters a day. Water really has no enemey. Take care of Yourself. Big hugg i hope you go well. Thanks for sharing. ( those creatures what your hearing are if i may so freely, they are coming because you are in the save zone.)
Suma
I think most things, demons do, in my case, are amusing… to a degree, nothing in abundance. Flat affect is real once you’ve gotten used to the various methods of torture. They become forms of amusement, in most cases. I guess some things aren’t as fun, but given enough time they’ll become amusing too. Living with this is a joke, anyway. Life’s way of laughing in the most depraved way possible.
Sheeesh @pansdisease, I am super sorry you have to deal with that crap. It sounds awful. I don’t have demons in the shower but I have a whole team of scientists watching me with cameras, looking out of my eye and hearing what I hear. No getting away from it and I think about it every time I am in the shower. Totally trapped.
People who shower alone and in peace should be very grateful.