At the moment, I study Design at college and I’m working as a volunteer, but I don’t have an everyday job.
I think if I get an internship (job), I would get better with self esteem. But my therapist thinks I should do things steadily because I don’t know if I’ll be able to deal with the huge amount of stress that an internship could bring me.
These days, I had to work at the morning and to study at afternoon. I got really tired these days, but I felt myself fulfilled. I wanted to even go to Pilates at night, but my therapist convinced me to get home and rest.
I think that, if I get an internship, I could even live by my university (and not with my parents) and it would be easier to go to my classes.
But I don’t know. I don’t want to have people worried with me because I come home with a tired face. I like to get tired, It makes me feel alive. My parents and my therapist don’t like the idea. I think I’m having too much protection from them and I get scared because of it. It seems I’m made of crystal.
for me stress is disastrous, that seems to be common for people with sz. I think that’s why your parents and therapist are being so cautious. But in the end it is your life and you are the only one who knows how much is too much. I think your ambition is great and I wish you good luck with which ever you decide. Sorry I can’t decide for you.
oh sweetheart, try to remember this protection comes from love and genuine worry. Your loved one’s aren’t trying to hurt you. You can gently remind them you need to make your own decisions but you appreciate their caring. But I know it feels like an insult when the ones you love treat you like your not capable. It’s a hard spot to be in. I’m sorry.
I used to have that feeling when I first moved in to an apartment. My doctor, social worker and mother all tried to stop me from doing it for they thought I couldn’t do it. So I fought for it and got it, showed them I can do it. I still remember my angry feeling at the time. They shouldn’t decide for me, but they should support me to realize what I want. I decide what I can and can’t do. You can learn from failures. You can’t build your confidence with too much protection from people.
Yeah, independent living is more important than showing people something.
I just sent my CV to a company. I hope they interview me. If they hire me, it’ll be possible to live by my university. I think it will not be possible to pay my own bills (unfortunately, in Brazil, our payment is mediocre), but I can rent an apartment with the money.
Welfare in Brazil is a joke, even in more developed cities like mine. I need my parents support because our minimum wage is just R$ 937,00 ($ 297,31 / $ 1,85 per hour). It’s just money to pay a rent, but no money for food, internet, water, electrical energy and other stuff.
I’m looking for a job because I also want to learn something. Working is the best way to learn something new. I want to improve.