I have an unpaid internship while I’m on govnerment financial aid.
I haven’t showed up for two days. I’ve sent them texts to the number we agreed on, telling them I was sick, but they never replied.
I don’t know why I don’t wanna go. I like it there, and I understand why I should go and why it’s important that I do, and that they’re not against me or angry with me.
And yet… I just don’t want to. When I think about going out the door to show up, I just want to curl up in the fetal position and cry.
I’ve felt like this about other things too, when I’ve been in school or other instances like that.
It’s like my brain is trying to get to the other side of my head where the motivation is, but it keeps running into an invisible wall. Makes sense?
What do I do?
The obvious answer would be to either force myself to go anyways, which is super hard, or to call/write in sick yet again, which solves nothing, but is so much more tempting.
But I want you guyses opinion
I know what it’s like to be in that position. There have been many times I didn’t go. Don’t know if I would say I regretted it. But you should go.
If I only did the things I felt like doing, I’d never learn to leave the house.
It’s all a state of mind, to get out the door, I just have to stop allowing myself to think I have an option to choose to stay or go.
Once I got out the door, my attitude changed for the better, nothing changes when I stay inside.
Don’t learn to shut yourself out of life.
Always tell such things to your treatment team! I’m in Oz and find it hard to work these days. Shrink helped me get onto a pension and now I just do volunteer work but it’s only a couple of days a week and I take payment with mid strength beer!
These feelings aren’t normal for most folk and that is the problem! Loss of function can be a huge sign the medications need an adjust or change. Please talk to your shrink or other!
A friend in the struggle,
Devise reward system. Think: If I push myself over the hump I will get a movie out or favourite food for tea etc.
Are you tired or depressed? Maybe you need something to get you moving like a cup of coffee. If you’re just in a state of paralysis when you think about going to work it can be tough to break thru that barrier. Part of the problem might be solved by thinking of it as part of your routine. If you’re just starting there it could be tough but if you commit to making it part of your daily routine then it might feel more normal and easier to accept.
If you don’t want to go to work, don’t go.
it’s not like it’s good for your health or something like that.
Thanks. I talked to my psych-nurse, and she’ll take a look at my meds on tuesday.
Forcing yourself is OK. Once you are there you might get into the swing of things and feel alright. Sometimes you just have to put faith in your abilities whether you have confidence or not and just jump in and do it.
I would also look into your companies policies on sick days and attendance. I’ve been fired a few times for missing a couple days without calling in and I wasn’t aware that broke company policy and they canned me. Sometimes just gritting your teeth and putting a thought in your head, that “I’m going”. And eat breakfast and take a shower and get dressed and there’s a good chance that you will go. It’s all about momentum. I just told another person to think a decision through. Think about what will happen if you lose this job. There’s no reason to panic but can you afford to lose this job? Can you make it without having a steady income? Can you handle another job search? Will losing your job affect other people around you in a negative way? Just some things to think about that I use for myself to motivate myself.
The psych nurse also said I might have been straining my psyche, and we’ll have to review on tuesday whether or not I should continue
I don’t work so I can understand how you would be unable, but if you can, it might improve the quality of your life… give you a routine, a reason to get out of bed in the morning and social interaction. If you think you’re capable of working I would look to the benefits. Instead of saying I have to go, you could look at it and say I can go and its a good thing. Just trying to give some perspective.