Seriously numb to everything

So this post might be a bit bleak. But i cant do anything. Nothing brings joy or interest. Im not sad at all either though. Just completely blank. For example i pre ordered a new game which came out today. I have been waiting for it for a while to come out. Amd now that ive played it for a very short while, i just cant bring myself to keep going. Probably wont even pick it up again. I’ll just let my partner enjoy it. Its hard to get across how annoying this is. It happens with absolitely everything. Everything is completely devoid of any substance or meaning or feeling. Its driving me mad. I truly beleive its the rexulti that im taking that is doing this. And abilify did it before i switched. Ive come off meds in the past and this grey uncaring lack of feeling goes away completely and i feel alive again. So ive organised to see my pdoc. She said she will help me to reduce and come off it. Im going to be smart about it though. But at the same time, id rather be crazy than life be like this.
Sorry for the anti med rant but this is extremely debilitating for me i feel. And i dont think its negs because people supposedly have negs both on and off meds. And i dont have them off meds.
If anyone read all that. Thanks. I just needed to vent.

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There’s tons of different meds to try that might not do that.

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You don’t want that. Best is to try another med. Have you tried vraylar?

I suffer from lack of motivation. I have to force myself into everything I do. It’s very draining.

I also buy books, magazines and games and going through them takes forever. I really just want to lie on the couch and do nothing.

I hope you feel better soon!

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I feel they’re all pretty similar in that they screw with your dopamine and all that. I reckon it saps mine completely.

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I dont have much trouble with motivation to do things that need to be done. Like go get things from shops or do dishes and stuff. But i cant do anything for enjoyment. Nothing creates any sense of anything within.

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Sounds like depression. Are you on any antidepressant?

Ive tried a few but none have any effect. I dont think its depression at all. Dont feel depressed or hopeless or anything like that.

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Ive just gotta try and wait to see the doctor. They never believe me though. They just say its probably depression or negs. Which doesnt really change anything except covering up the symptoms with a label.

In terms of motivation and interest and happiness or reward related is very much lacking in me as well. Meds I often used to think does not help much. It is just to go through the treatment and not expose to psychosis or episodes in between.

Other stuff related to daily life has to be taken care by us I believe. Just have to see what suits us to overcome the blank or numb feeling. It definitely takes time to see some changes. Hope you feel better to have meaning, purpose in doing things.

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I can relate to feeling empty when trying to find enjoyment from things. It’s like something is lacking, it’s a hollow feeling.

But I wouldn’t quit my meds for it. The alternative isn’t an option. I would go totally insane without meds.

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I know how u feel. Its the same for me on or off meds tho. Or i think it is. I have been taking meds now for a while tho so maybe i cant remember. Recently tho i started taking a low dose of abilify with the haldol i take and i had some renewed interest. I think its fading now tho.

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I don’t feel much either. Work, study was the same thing, I know I shouldn’t but I’ve turned to the drink… it’s not helping as the numbness extends, what I mean is when there’s an itch to scratch, my body itself feels like the scratching isn’t working. I do stuff, like go to the shops and that, but it’s hard to explain, but I hear you!

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Yeah its pretty frustrating ay. I think its always happening to me. But sometimes im just better at dealing with it. At the moment i have no tolerance for the anhedonia. Driving me nuts.

What’s anhedonia?

Inability to feel pleasure or the opposite.

Lack of pleasure. Not being interested in things you once were.

Now that i think of it, maybe its possible that my drug use in the past is causing this somewhat aswell… its sad to think that might be contributing to it.

Are you an Aussie? @Ozzyskits

Yeah good to know! I feel my reality is different to others, guess it makes us unique

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Yeah, sounds like that

Yeah im Australian. What about you?