I have a problem. My self harm urge has been pretty high lately. I got a tattoo on my left forearm almost 6 months ago to cover up about 8 scars that were still visible. I love it.
I still self harm but I’ve moved it all down to my leg because I don’t want to ruin someone else’s beautiful artwork and my favorite tattoo. But my forearm is my favorite place for reasons I won’t discuss. I’ve tried going around it but it’s not the right effect. I’ve even tried the negative space which also is not the same.
I don’t know what to do. This is my first tattoo from this particular artist and I plan to get the rest of them from her and she’d be rightfully pissed if she saw I ruined her work. Help!
I don’t trust my coordination enough to use my left hand.
No lectures please, just advice on distraction or replacement or something so I don’t fück up this tattoo.
I’ve never had a problem with self harm but I get worked up occasionally, especially in crowds or at work on the phone so I keep a fidget spinner in my pocket and a fidget cube at my desk.
Self harm is an addiction. The easiest way to beat an addiction is to find a replacement behavior that more effectively addresses the need you are trying to meet. You want something that produces endorphins to give you a feeling of relief from your problems.
The best answer is to make progress towards solving your problems, but not all problems are solvable. And the ones that are solvable take a long time to address. So then, in the meantime, find something else that produces endorphins.
You can exercise vigorously. You can watch a show, read a book, or listen to music that you connect to strongly. You can sit in the sun for extended periods of time. You can paint your nails, or do makeup, and just practice self-love in general. You can write out your negative thoughts, then rip or burn the paper. You can draw, or play music, or make a post about your feelings. You can force yourself to come up with three positive things to say about yourself. You can draw on yourself in washable marker.
If you’re still in the beginning stages of giving up self harm, there are some in-between steps you can take. These are not positive coping skills, but they’re much less dangerous than cutting. You can try holding ice cubes for a very long time. You can wear a rubber band and flick yourself instead of cutting. You can take a cold shower. You can slap yourself. Please note that these are not good habits to adopt permanently. They’re only meant as a way to transition into more positive coping skills.
I think it’s worth mentioning that I don’t do it to focus on physical pain instead of emotional because I actually hate the pain. I’m not prepping myself for suicide. Nothing like that. It’s not a coping skill.
I have an acute fascination with my own blood. I’m VERY careful not to knick any veins or cause unnecessary damage. I just like to study the blood. In fact I think the only relationship to emotional or psychological struggle it has is that it’s typically easier to ignore the physical pain if something upsetting has happened. But even then I don’t typically cut after an upset. It’s dangerous.
I’ve tried the ice and the rubber bands but because I’m not looking to replace pain it doesn’t usually work. It’s the blood I’m looking for.
Also I donate blood to curb the fascination. Sometimes they let me inspect the bag, but you can only donate so many times a year.
I think I need a complete distraction instead of replacement. I love the idea of sitting in the sun. My new apartment has lots of natural light and I’m a sunlight fiend. So I’ll be certain to give that a try. I think it would pair nicely with a bit of reading. Thank you.
I dont have advice, I just want to say I did the same thing, and you arent alone in jumping the gun on blocking out your favorite cutting board.
Mine is/was my thigh. Im a total tattoo enthusiast(obsessed), and it was my first tattoo. I put 15 hours and 1.5k (not including tips) into a amazing work of art. Technically I could cut around her but I have nightmares of waking up after a episode and having ruined her. The other thigh just isnt the same to me. Its hard sometimes, but Ive been addicted and stuck at the point in quitting where you relapse every few-several months for about 5 years maybe 6.
I have found the urge to cut goes away after a 1-2 hours, so Ive found if I can wait, I lose interest.
There are.places that buy blood where you have to donate twice in one week, but its plasma not the full blood… My ex used to sell his almost every week
That tattoo must be a real piece for that amount of money and time. That would certainly make me think twice as well. I’m thinking if I can’t get out of this that I’m just gunna start writing and practicing fine motor skills with my left hand. Not the best idea and definitely not the same but it’ll have to do. I don’t want to ruin it.
If I knew how to send you a picture on this site I would, but I can link the artist site. Mine isnt on there, but his art is worth a peak. I have a fairy dragon in pink with blue accents with a agaphanthus and a dragonfly.
What about doing some kind of carving in clay or wood or something like that. Pottery is great for getting stress out too. If you could get into a pottery class it might help. You have to vigorously beat and knead clay to prepare it to be worked with. Just a couple of suggestions.
Also it would probably do you good to work through the issues that are causing you to want to self harm. Once you get to the root of them , you can possibly get past them. Do you have a counselor?
From personal experience dealing with self harm urges as well, I have a few things I do for myself that I find works.
Frozen food is one that helps me. Also holding an animal. (Dunno if you have one but if you do try petting it and giving it snuggles and love)
I also have tried smashing plates (I buy cheap ones from the thrift store, however I’m not sure if the broken pieces would trigger you, it helps me with anger) chocolate helps everything. When in doubt, spoil yourself and buy something cool you are interested in that distracts you.
Usually when I want to hurt myself most that’s when I try to be as nice as I can to myself. I take a hot bath with bubbles, light an insense, moisturize, eat my favorite food, watch my favorite movie/tv show. Just learn to replace self hate with self love.
Like ninja said, here’s a list of stuff you can do instead of hurting yourself I’ve found useful. Stay strong.
There is also an app called Calm Harm that helps people manage the urge to self-harm. I haven’t tried it, but I’ve heard from others that it helps a lot.
Well you say you like the look of blood perhaps fake blood like for actors and such? would give you the look with out all the cuts and pain and bad things that go with it? But I’d only try that if it wouldn’t be too triggering.
Also I found drawing on myself very helpful it’s relaxing and you can draw whatever designs you feel like.
