Schizophrenia.com

Self-harm?

#1

Has anyone else have a history or present problem with cutting and or self harm? I started this around when I was 12 or 13 and I did it until now. I do not do this anymore however when I was hospitilized in March of this year I cut myself pretty bad and did NOT remember doing it. It’s like a blacked out in psychosis and my mind took over. The voices definitely played a huge part in it for me.

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Self-Harm, Why and How to Stop
#2

yes i self harmed in a massive way so now i am disfigured so i know how you feel, you are not alone.
take care

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#3

Yeah, I started pretty young too. Most you cant see unless you are looking pretty close, or less than a T-Shirt and shorts.

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#4

Thanks you two. Yeah I have really bad scarring that won’t ever go away and I hate it but theres nothing I can do about it. No matter what I wear they are visible and I get a lot of looks and stares. Its just another way to be criticized.

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#6

On my first psychosis i thought i am invisible and i was almost jumping in front of the car to see if the car will pass through me. And wile thinking to jump all of a sudden a person walked by me and says Hi, than i started thinking that i am not invisible and i didnt jump.

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#7

Nowdays I have seen a lot of tasteful tattoos that hide scars.
It’s something to think about if they bother you.
Personally, the marks don’t bother me, but then last year was the first time in my life I wore less than a T -shirt, even if it was only inside my house.

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#8

Yeah tattoos are great. I have 13 all together. But not over my bad scars. Whenever I have the money I will definitely get a tattoo over them. I just hope I dont cut again during a psychosis moment.

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#9

I am on a blog and I follow some people who self harm and some black out when it happens. A voice or entity takes over and does it. For some self harming is a coping mechanism. The physical pain is easier to deal with then the emotional pain. Self harm can be very addicting. It can start as being soothing but like alcohol or drugs it can become an addiction. Know that scares do not define you as a person. No different then if someone was in a car accident and had scares because of it. Depending on where they are you could wear long sleeve shirts or lots of bracelets. For a long time I didn’t know that my daughter self harmed as she covered it up with bracelets.
I have seen Bio Oil be recommended a lot for helping the appearance of scars.

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#10

I’ve never physically self harmed, but have punished myself in other ways.
I used to punish myself for being persecuted by refusing to eat, leaving the bedroom window wide open at night, so I couldn’t get warm.
And going out in bad weather wearing no coat, etc. Little things like that seem bizarre now.

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#11

I thought I was the only one who did that. I used to leave the bedroom window wide open in the snow. I too thought I wasn’t worthy of eating.

I only cut myself open a few times when I was young and my imaginary friends told me to. I do understand that this thread is addressing physical self-harm.

But I figured alcohol, amphetamines, and LSD and other drug intakes are also a form of self-harm as well. Though at the time I didn’t think about it that way.

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#12

I started cutting when I was 15. It was a way for me to forget about the depression and anxiety. I also started doing drugs, to numb myself.

This went on for a few years. Until, one day, I completely blacked out and cut my arm severely. I had to call my friends and they took me to the emergency room. Five stitches later, I felt horrible about what I’d done. I vowed to never do it again.

And I finally quit doing drugs, which, for me, was the ultimate self harm. I would always push my limits and see how far I could go. I almost overdosed on morphine one night. That was the awakening moment for me.

Thankfully, I haven’t fallen back into those destructive ways since then. There is, of course, a lot of temptation some days. But I refuse to harm myself again.

Oh, and I got some nice tattoos to cover my scars. My favorite one is the Japanese symbol for healing :slight_smile:

Blessings,

Anthony

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#13

I started cutting when I was thirteen and I still haven’t really stopped…

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#14

I attempted suicide a few times, but never did cutting or anything of that nature. My self harm is donein more of a mental way I think.

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#15

Before I went on meds there were many times my mental state got so bad I wanted to cut myself. I didn’t because I didn’t want anyone to know about my mental state, because it they did, my family members would have taken my guns away from me and I wouldn’t be able to commit suicide if I had to.

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#16

I used to burn my legs with cigaretts to feel I was alive. I think I was 12-13 years old at that time.
I’ve also done morphine and alcohol. I did also leave my window open, I woke up with snow on the floor!

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#17

Thank uou all for your replies. I have also self harmed in many ways. Not letting myself eat then I’d eat and puke, which I havent done that in years. It wasnt a need to be super skinny or because i thought i was ugly it was just something i did because it always made me feel worse. Or I would pull my hair out which I never do anymore either. But the cutting has always been something hard to stop. Especially when I dont feel in control when it happens sometimes.

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#18

My boyfriend used to cut him self really bad, and I learned it from him but I only did superficial markings on my veins at wrists, my parents never noticed that even when I band aided them…I quit when they left scars…

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