I was running in fear when schizophrenia first hit me
Yeah getting the label of “schizo” whether it’s affective or just schizophrenic is damaging, it definitely doesn’t make us feel good, that’s safe to say.
It’s a life sentence in many ways. It’s predictive as much as it is descriptive.
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how old were you when it started
26…full blown paranoia and despair
I personally never cared about the term being applied to me because whether or not I have a name for it I’m still gonna have crap happen like I stare at walls for extended periods of times and see shadow figures shamble up in an unnatural way no human would ever walk.
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im sorry…i was 21…paranoid…hows is now
it feels like hard work at the moment…the hardest illness there is out there
hows the symptoms now
distressed a bit, runn ragged by the voices
ohhh. what med u take
700 mg clozapine 300mg Seroquel
how long have been treatment
Im on clozapine for the past 5 months
The irony of it all was that all I knew about the disease was that my Uncle had it and when I was hearing the strange voices in the walls I went to the clinic at the University of Kansas and stared at a information pamphlet about schizophrenia but didn’t read it because I thought what I was hearing was real. I was scared as crap as well because I had things to hide and folks seemed to know what they were because it seemed like they could read my mind. It was like I had no privacy and had also lost the ability to sleep as well. I flunked out of Kansas that semester and was scared of what the rest of my life would amount to. Once I realized that it had to be schizophrenia i was afraid I would be locked up in an asylum for life as well. (I didn’t know that deinstitutionalization had already occurred.) Once I later learned more about the illness the fear of homelessness popped up in my brain as well. I would wonder what it would be like to be homeless on very cold, rainy, snowy, icy, and hot days and what the long-term effects of never taking a shower would be. When I read a book about the battle of Stalingrad I read of soldiers dying from having lice on their bodies and the exposure they suffered from and imagined suffering from the same. Which reminds me that I probably need to take a shower today.