Schizophrenia/ Bipolar

@ReginaRivera I recomend that you never tell anyone about your illness. My dr recommends the same. The stigma is too much to deal with

Only person that knows for me is my wife. Not even my parents know

I got into reading this thread because I was diagnosed Bipolar over 10 years ago.
I’m taking myself to the hospital in a few hours for the manyeth time, but this time with a newfound clarity and an understanding of what’s been going on with me for so long and I refused to consider all these years.
I studied psychology and communications in college, I had a broad understanding of the basics of mental illnesses. In graduate school, I suddenly changed and my life hit meltdown out of control dramatic shift that year. I punched out a window because I was angry over a gallon of spilled milk (No use crying over it lol).
They gave me like 4 diagnosis. Bipolar, borderline, anxiety, press.

But what I didn’t recognize that year included some psychosis I didn’t recognize. It’s increased in many ways. Hearing the voices in my mind started being seriously noticeable these last couple years, and paranoid delusions have kicked in.

I refused to “get to know” about schizophrenia. Because I believed if I didn’t consider it an option, it could not and would not be true.

Then my doctor prescribed Risperdal last month.
I refused to take it for 25 days because I refused to risk the weight gain.
It finally got so bad, I had to try it, anything to avoid the hospital!

It was a godsend.

I knew it was used for treatment of schizophrenia more than bipolar…so I opened my mind to consider- could I be living with schizophrenia?

Occams Razor.
4 diagnosis and substance abuse issues, or the simplest explanation?
Occams razor is pretty straight.

The doctors office I’m mainly concerned about. To see why I see things and hear things. I’m on Sapris 15 mg twice daily, Haldol injection 150 mg/ml and congental. I might keep my diagnosis a secret from my friends. I really don’t want nobody knowing if they don’t support me.

ive written this before but I think it’s impossible to get support from people who don’t have sz. Hearing voices is not something that is well understood unless you have them yourself. Even the drs don’t have a real understanding, but they can prescribe medicine according to protocol. And in my case no one has had the experience I’ve had… ie.

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I literally have no friends left. I had quite a few friends in high school, then I had a different group of friends in my 20s who I was constantly around, sometimes too much. I’ve abandoned them all because of my illness. As far as sex goes, it’s been pretty sparse in my life and non-existent lately. I’m hoping to turn that around sometime soon though.

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Hi @ReginaRivera you’re definitely not alone here!!

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You are not alone, I’m also a crazy one, ran off any friends, spend 99% of my time alone.

Living the dream…

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It is funny how my attention was drawn to a sentence about the strugglers of the poor is bigger than the rich. I have always felt sorry for myself. I was born into a poor hard working family whose financial situation changed dramatically when I was about 7. But I so get used to be poor than even when we had money I still felt poor. And I do so till today. They say the self worth kind of stabilise at the age of 5. Does it mean that also my self worth has never changed since and is based on me having been poor and having lived in an alcoholic family?

I do not want to know anyone unless I am sure they can support me. I do not trust others and assume from the beginning I will be rejected. How do you manage to keep your diagnosis secret? I shout out in the most improper situations. For example I went to the conference in relation to my
Occupational Therapy uni course. I was there with a few other students whom I hardly knew, basically just from name. The very first day I got drunk and told them some of my very personal stuff as if looking for validation. I still feel deep shame when I think about it.

Sorry to hear that. I have such a strong sense that talking about it is taboo that I just keep quiet about it. I don’t even talk to my wife about it, though she knows some stuff

It’s the bottle up method… just bottle it up and stick to only talking to your dr about it (and here). I keep a big jug handy at all times

Your reply is so similar to my situation that I have got even more paranoid now. I am here alone in this whole world?

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Well you’ve got this board and maybe others on the internet :slight_smile: I was quite happy when I found this one. You can always msg me too :smile:

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Hey, @ReginaRivera. Welcome to the forums! You’re definitely not alone. I wanted to give you a bit of a message of hope. It really can get better. I’ve had schizophrenia for fourteen years. For a long time, I had no friends, because everyone thought I was too weird. Nobody wanted to be around me. But, after ten years, I finally found the right medication. And my life began to improve rapidly. I was able to repair my relationships with my family, I could start making new friends, and I even met someone who I am now married to. I still struggle with symptoms, especially during times of extra stress, but I have learned some great coping skills that help me work through those times. You’re still in the beginning stages of the illness. It’s hardest then. But it gets easier. It is possible to be schizophrenic and still live the life you want. It just takes time, and a lot of work.

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Don’ t worry. When you get in there, you will find that a lot of things will occur to you. Just be attentive and remember to speak. Remember to listen, too, and maybe you will hear something helpful

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I’ve had SZ all my adult life, since I was 20. I’m now 75. I have NO friends. I have decided to call myself a solitary and live proudly with that. Accept my solitude and be happy with it! It’s not just the SZ that alienates me, it’s my old age. Welcome to the forum. You can speak freely here. Everyone knows what you are saying.

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10 percent of brain thing is a myth. All people use 100% of their brains, just not all at the same time. If your brain were to become 100% active, every neuron in every area firing at once, there would be intense interference and clashing and you would go into a massive seizure.

Source—>I majored in neuroscience :blush:

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