Scared I'm going to be fired

So I have psychotic rage most of the time, I have a very short fuse, it’s one of my main symptoms. Usually I can keep it under control when I’m working (in customer service). I’m worried I spoke angrily to a few customers at work yesterday, that my 2 colleagues noticed & that they’ll tell on me & I’ll get fired.

Yesterday I had a series of extremely annoying, impatient and demanding customers. I was answering their inquiries and serving them at a normal pace, as quickly as anyone could. But from the way they were behaving you’d think the building was on fire.

I was trying to help one of them and he just kept yabbering at me so I couldn’t actually concentrate enough to complete the computer task I needed to to serve him. His yabbering was just slowing me down. I finally gave him exactly what he wanted and he finally shut up & said, “thank you” in kind of a surprised way, like he was surprised I’d been helping him all along & got him exactly what he’d asked for. Instead of my usual, “you’re welcome,” reply I said “YES.” Like, yes mate, you owe me a thank you, you’ve been a total pain in the arse, unreasonable customer.

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You will be ok I hope. Everyone gets angry.

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Yes, I think you’ll be OK too.

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That’s not that bad. It’s not like you smacked him and called him an ass.

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Well, if you have a good reputation there for usually doing your job satisfactorily I wouldn’t worry about an occasional slip-up. Everyone’s entitled to an occasional mistake.

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It doesn’t sound like you did something to warrant being fired. The fear of being fired is awful though.

I’m curious what you mean by psychotic rage being one of your main symptoms? I have had a sister and a friend both think my anger is a symptom, which is maddening to me as I felt legitimately angry about things.

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thanks @77nick77 @DragonStorm @Leaf @Quijas6

I’ve got work today so will let you know how it goes.

The good news is I’ve got 2 jobs so if I ruin my reputation in this one at least I still have the other.

It’s just frustrating that my mental illness gets the better of me. I try really, really hard at work, it’s not like I’m lying around drinking beer, but my mental illness overwhelms me & comes out for all to see. It just doesn’t seem fair, ya know?

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No it doesn’t seem fair.

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“Unfair” is schizophrenia’s middle name. I try not to dwell on it.

Instead, I think of puppies, playboy bunnies, and huge servings of Rocky Road ice cream.

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thanks @Quijas6 @77nick77
I’ve worked 3 days & things seem to be ok. My managers haven’t said anything. I guess it’s ok.

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Customer service sounds like the absolute WORST place to be if you have rage.

If you have experience in customer service you should look into a job in A/P or A/R. Are you good with numbers?

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