Bit of a rough morning so far. I woke up and cried a little bit. Just feeling like I don’t want to wake up today. An old friend passed away yesterday and I think it’s hitting me harder for some reason.
Maybe I’m just in a depressed mood too. I would confide in this friend about how I was feeling and in turn he would tell me how he was doing. He had colon cancer pretty bad. He was so positive the whole time though. Said it “was like a quest to get better and he could not fail.” He was 32 years old.
That’s how I have been looking at schizophrenia since he said that. It’s like a quest and I have to get better to finish. Unfortunately schizophrenia doesn’t go away. But there is a lot you can do to feel better.
Cancer is sad, my uncle died at 35 y.o. from pancreatic cancer stage 4. He died 2 months after his diagnosis. It spread to his brain and heart, he died from a heart attack during a coma. Morphine injections didn’t stop his pain and he looked pregnant because of pancreatic+liver+intestinal cancer growth. It was too late for surgery when he got diagnosed.