I had to move in with my dad when I was 29. I had no job and just a little extra money. I had nothing to do all day while he was at work and I was in the middle of a nasty relapse and I was heavy into smoking crack.
I slept in a back bedroom on an old mattress on the floor and 4/5 of the floor was used as a storage space for old furniture and boxes of junk. I was not happy to say the least and I called the police a couple times to take me to the psyche ward during that time.
In the psyche ward they strapped me face down to a table with leather straps and some other poor guy was strapped down on a table next to me. Oh hell, those were bad times, just horrible times.
But I discovered a day program at the county hospital and joined it. We played board games or Charades, or played volleyball out back and went for walks and had therapy groups. It was very informal. But a couple times after day treatment I walked next door to the psyche ward and checked myself in. Did I mention those were horrible times?
One day my dad said to me, "Why don’t you get a job? So I went out and found a job at a warehouse. Stayed about two months then walked out at lunchtime one day and never went back. And I called them up and they fired me as a formality.
Anyways, I lived with my dad and did some things in my life that really pissed him off but he stuck with me. Then in rapid succession, I moved out of my dads to a group home, I got clean and sober there, I got a job, I moved into a board & care and enrolled myself in college. I started going to AA, CA and NA meetings until I was walking or taking the bus to 5 or 6 meetings a week. I’ve been working almost steadily ever since.
That is how I changed my life. Hell, I didn’t want to be addicted to crack, I didn’t want to sleep on the floor, I didn’t want to be in the psyche ward, I didn’t want to be in that day program, I didn’t want to be broke and unemployed. But I was 29 years old and all of those things.
So I changed my life and changed all those things.
Now I live in an OK apartment, my job ain’t bad all the time, I have a nice 2012 Volkswagen Jetta, I shop, cook and clean for myself. I have a couple grand in the bank and take care of my own finances. Sometimes I’m happy, sometimes I’m not. But just forcing myself to do things that sucked at the time got me to this place in my life where I spend a lot of time by myself but I like it and my symptoms are way down and I often have peace of mind and my mind slows down. My motto is the NIKE shoe motto: “Just Do It”. I still do a lot of things I don’t like doing and I have a few toxic people in my life, but all in all, my life ain’t bad 100% the time.
Change ain’t easy most of the time, it can be very uncomfortable and difficult but I’m glad I went down the path I did when I was younger.
The Steve Miller Band has that famous song “Jet Airliner”
A line goes, “You got to go through hell before you get to heaven.” That couldn’t be truer. Nothing good comes easy, but I showed how I was down like a 100% of us are at many points in our lives, living with my dad with zero going for me except that I took some risks. And it payed off. I hope someone gets something from this.
