I can do it again


I learned long ago that I do not do well when I have nothing to do. And being at work does take my mind of my problems. In fact my last relapse in 1989 was when I was unemployed and I was staying with my dad. He went off to work each day at 7:00 am and I had an apartment to myself all day with nothing to do until he got home at 5:00 pm. I would go for walks or try to sleep to kill time. It didn’t help that I was addicted to crack. I ended up making several trips to the psyche ward. Plus I had some weird problem where I was throwing up almost every day. So drugs, no money, nothing to do, an illness, being hospitalized. It was my last mentally excruciating unbearable period for me. I got put in a temporary group home for 4 months. At the end of my stay I got clean and sober, I got a job, and my throwing up problem disappeared. I moved into the nicest, best, board & care home in the city out of a hundred others. I had my job, I was clean and eventually going to 5 or 6 AA meetings a week, I enrolled myself in college, made a friend, and saw my family and hung out with their friends every weekend. I stayed in that home for five years doing all this. It was my most productive years. 1990-1995. And I got clean in 1990 and that was the last time I was hospitalized.