Im so annoyed with the SZ symptoms. I had a rubbish Christmas and I had about 4 hours of auditory hallucinations today. I was able to function - but it was just a god damm pain. Worse I have been having that awful crappy depression/despair thing over the last while.
I’m not suicidal by any means at the moment. I just look at the limited friends I have. They are all in relationships and getting on with their lives. Instead - im getting fatter and uglier every year. I want a better life - but the fun SZ induced brain damage has just caused so much damage to my life - coupled with some extreme personal issues.
Like - im sick of getting such a god damm raw deal. I’m just despairing… Like why do I have to be the punch bag of life.
Its just as well I have a lot of anhedonia or whatever, as I guess Id actually feel worse, if I didnt have the numbed emotions.