I recently requested my medical records from my mental health center, I got them today, cost me 9 dollars, not bad. I reviewed them hastily as it was a lot of paper work in the presence of my “caseworker” whom I thought I fired having given the condolences of it not being personal I just couldn’t place why he gave me severe anxiety attacks. I was just sitting at my kitchen table reviewing page after page in detail, and it was really so benign that it took a great number of pages in for an upsetting issue to come up in the records.
What upsets me is that in the records of one session which I remember with my previous doctor I explained to him that I’d spent the summer getting at best an hours sleep a night and pacing my day’s away. I told him that my parents who’s property I was living in an apartment on, were (I demured to an understatement here) basically not giving a damn about me (they were in fact aggravating my state) at one point they walked up into my apartment and my father took my quilt and chewed on it while my mother (I’d rather puke than disclose these types of her behavior) basically straddled the arm of my couch.
All I said to this p-doc on this occasion was what I’d been through that past summer, the no sleep and pacing and that my parents had showed no concern before I told them one day “I give up whatever you want, I just give up I can’t do it anymore” and the next morning the town police chief showed up and peacefully if against my will took me to the psych ward.
What the good doctor wrote: “He said that his parents watched him concernedly all summer and finally called the “sheriff” to take him to the hospital”
It’s not "This patient called me out on embezzlement of funds in public so I wrote on the first page of his psych history that he molested a sibling (described in graphic detail) Something never said nor happened. Which is part of why I requested my records here which a therpist I saw briefly is noticably absent from, I asked about her and found she’d denied the release. But it is disturbing…patient’s report should be what was said, not a fabrication of basically the opposite of what was said.
I would stay away from reading your records so seriously. For the same reason, I don’t read the book I read about my delusional journey. Writing the book triggered a severe panic attack which debilitated me because I didn’t know what to do so I stayed in my apartment for weeks unless my mom came over and went to the store with me. I learned how to defeat the agoraphobia and the fear of panic. good luck.
Something I have found over the years is that it seems most professionals have a strong tendency to assume in any conflict between parents and offspring, that the parents were in the right and that the offspring (even if adults) are delusional, lying, omitting, exaggerating, etc. I pretty much just expect it at this point and don’t bother to talk about my family much at all in appointments, as there’s no point. I don’t really need professionals to pick a side, I just need them to understand my perspective and what I’m dealing with in life, but it has always turned into sudden ‘court case’ about whether or not my parent is innocent and derails the whole conversation. Nooo point.
I just finished my entire review, while listening to bizarre entrancing music on community radio and that was pretty much the only issue I had other than the therapist I had there early on who refused to release info. And you’re right, they are going to side with the “elders” especially when they are local officials in executive positions and on the other hand at least involved in their community and well known for their life’s work. You’re pretty much screwed in that situation. I’d probably be married and living my own life by now if that were allowed (death threats, false legal documents threatening lawsuits, internet stalking and even provoking a suicidal drinking companion to attempt to kill us both and who knows who else has haunted my past attempted relationships. Basically, I cannot be in a relationship, not allowed. At best I’ve been financially cut off, at worst, almost died.
The thing is, I’ve been given more than I can bear and anything I say about my situation is going to be taken as insanity. I feel like at times I mean what are we the Kennedy’s? I mean money does seem to come out of nowhere when it needs to but these people live rather modestly and having reviewed their financials in my teens it doesn’t make sense.
And yes, I publically accused a psychiatrist of misapropriation of funds as I’d heard from a therapist that he’d requested a research grant of $100,000 and had been found not to have been doing research and instead put an addition onto his mansion. And yes, on the front page of his records which he screamed, moaned and stomped his feet when I requested to view them with the support of my case worker. Right there on the first page he accused me of molesting a sibling and went into vivid detail none of which was true. This is why I’m reviewing records…and there’s more, much more. And of course I’m the insane one, I’m the madman, I’m the delusional one.
I’m sure I’ve had some times when I’ve been delusional about family members, because well, I have a psychotic illness and all. There is a mixture of reality and paranoia in a lot of my experiences. But my main point is that appointments shouldn’t be a court case on how I perceive my family members. It should be documented what I report, and then also with the psychiatrist’s thoughts or concerns, and the main focus should be how I am experiencing things. They won’t argue with you about the existence of God but they’ll argue you into the ground about whether someone “really meant it that way”. Like who cares, just help me.