I hate feeling like this. I couldn’t get to sleep last night because I was so angry at what I perceive to be happening. I don’t feel a part of this “family” I’m meant to call my own.
I live far away from them. I think they’re not my real family. I could be from saturn and made of steel. They’re all up there living it up playing happy family and no one ever calls me or even texts. It’s always me initiating contact with my “sisters.”
The middle sister is trying to delete me from my position in the “family” and replace me with her daughters. And the mother unit is going along with it.
I’m meant to travel up there (another thing, I’m the only one who travels for visits, no one ever comes down here to see me) in two weeks. I just changed my return flight yesterday to come home earlier. I don’t want to go at all.
Last night I had visions replaying over and over in my head of hurting the mother and hanging myself.
I see my psychiatrist next Friday (he is on leave at the moment and I can’t contact him to talk it out) and I’ve written all of this in my journal to take to him.
Thanks for reading.
Family can be frustrating. You expect them to be loyal and fair etc. But they’re not.
The white man just came into the house and tried to hurt Tiggy. I was in the shower getting undressed and I heard Tiggy shriek. When I rushed out to see him he was watching the dining room scared. The White Man is back and he is going to try to kill Tiggy.
I’m sorry you’re having so much trouble, Turtle. Family is hard.
I bet Tiggy can hold his own against the white man. He is a very smart cat.
I’ve been told that dysfunctional families have to have one member be a scape goat. It sounds like you’re the fall guy in your family.
Have you got a benzo that you can take for emergencies turtle? Should you take it now?
I have to go to work. I have valium here and at work. I will take it if it gets too bad. But I think I’ll be ok when I’m at work.
Mr Turtle has tried to convince me that something else must have startled Tiggy. But I still think it was the white man. I know what he does, he kills animals. He once threatened to kill the mother’s cats.
Family can be the absolute worst! I’m so sorry you feel this way, sweet @anon84763962!
Have you expressed any of these feelings to any of them? They should know how you’re feeling. I think I might write everything down, including what each of them has done to support your ideas and feelings, and share it with them when you do go to visit.
Sometimes when I feel similarly, I do have to admit that I don’t reach out very much or invite people over…
Things are seldom as bad as we think, and I hope that’s true in this case.
My cat, TC, has reacted to things in our house too. But these things we see and hear are full of threats and no action. The white man absolutely can not hurt Tiggy, only scare.