I’m really starting to lose my grip. I have been trying to write this post all day but I can’t form the right words to describe how I’m doing.
I’m not sleeping really at night and at first it was okay but now I’m having to pull myself out of bed late. My concentration is slipping. I can’t focus. The voices are louder and more frequent. I’m having delusions and paranoia about my husband wanting to kill me again and people watching me so they can spy on me and hurt me. I’m spending my entire day literally tearing apart some area of my home to remodel and then becoming tired and leaving it.
I can’t even spend quality time with my kids other than napping or a bath because conversation is too difficult and I’m so agitated by everyone. I hate this.
Everything is turning back to ■■■■. I have this suffocating weight on top of me that I’m just tired to lift off and my head feels so full it’s going to explode.
I think something is taking over my body and controlling me. None of these actions are mine. These thoughts are not mine. I don’t know what they want from me. I’m not special.
I think hearing “it’s a phase” is a trigger for me. That’s not really your fault. My feelings are not hurt. Thank you for replying to my topic. I like when I hear the opinions of a fellow Sz
It’s really okay. I am the queen of inappropriate comments lolol so I understand.
I am also not taking an AP and I know I should be. I was supposed to start inVega around Christmas but I was waiting to be approved for health coverage because it’s hella expensive. And then I wasn’t accepted because I’m a whack job or I was but not covered for things I’m already diagnosed with so useless.
Right now I am taking lithium, lamictal and a bunch of vitamins.
I am taking my meds. No AP currently. The ones I’ve been on were hell and I really need to pick up my prescription for inVega but I just can’t afford it.
Are you on meds? If not, you may need some medication to control these. If you’re already on medication, talk to your pdoc and you may need med increase. Do you know your first signs of your symptoms getting worse? To prevent relapsing, catching things before they get worse is crucial. By doing so, you’ll be able to keep further psychiatric treatment as little as possible.
Thank you. I am taking medication. Same time every day. I don’t drink alcohol. I get fresh air. It’s really difficult to tell if there is anything I am doing or could do to prevent a relapse but I am almost positive something bad is happening to me. I see my social worker on Tuesday. I really don’t want to talk about this though.
If you can’t afford the med your doctor prescribed then you need to go back and ask for a cheaper med. Even if it’s not the best fit it’s going to be better than nothing until you have been insured long enough for your insurance to cover other meds.
Yes I know. And I know better too. I shouldn’t have waited this long …it’s just…there’s always that shred of hope you get that maybe you’re not crazy ya know. Maybe I’ll hold off and be okay. I’m slipping and I need to get on an AP fast. I have an apt Tuesday so I’ll have to say something. I hate talking about positive symptoms though. It’s humiliating.
don’t be ashamed or beat yourself up for your symptoms…you need to get to an ER and say you need antipsychotics…please don’t wait any longer !! I am on generic prolixin and it is very inexpensive.