Recovery from psychosis

[ajassat]

I’m going to share my story, and I would like other to share their journey too

Diagnosed with psychosis in 2015. Got kicked out of medical school for laughing inappropiately and generally lack of proper functioning

Was an angry, violent young man who believed he was fighting demonic forces, and my whole life I felt I was being persecuted because I was somehow something special in a spiritual sense

Was put on meds several times, and didn’t comply for several years till 2017, when it finally hit me that something was wrong with my mental health. Several bad episodes in mental hospital - shouting matches, fights, verbally abusing nurses

Since 2017 was on Olanzapine, and felt all the persecutory beliefs and magical thinking just vanish

Finally got control of my mind.

Now I’m 27, secured a good job in the IT field (my backup if medical degree failed), enjoying life with very little negative symptoms

I’m more social, positive and bubbly person with a focus on success and making myself live a completely normal life just like those who never suffered. Back on good terms with my family, who are my mental support

Only regret I have is losing out on medical school - I was destined to be successful in this field - all the early indications were there - I loved being in hospital, chatting to patients, hearing their stories and of course, the scientific aspect of diagnosis and treatment/management

Let me know your personal recovery stories and any regrets you have, but also the good points

[Green]

Do you still take meds though?

[anon1466656]

2015, dropped out of physics school.

2017 tried mathematics school and left.

2018/19 March realised there was a schizophrenia problem which I had realised in 2015 but dismissed emotionally.

2020, passed the second yr of a finance programme and started an economics programme.

Negative symptoms include tiredness (perhaps due to a different condition however) and a bipolar sense of motivation.

Good is that I kept trying to get through education and this attempt is showing progress.

Bad is that I feel held back by thoughts of schizophrenic symptoms returns and also strongly discouraged by prognosis lack of success stories

Your post makes me happier, I’m happy for both you and us all because it offers hope that psychosis can be dealt with. And I’m sure it will be dealt with if it ever tried to return !

Well done for your recovery, the self, in my understanding. Definitely plays a big role in your recovery potential or levels. Well done!!

[ajassat]

Thanks for your kind words

You have a similar path to me in that you were enrolled into pretty demanding courses

I’m glad you finally realised you had an issue with Sz, as this is the first step towards recovery. Too many people have Sz, and when you ask them, all the say is ‘there is nothing wrong with me mentally’, and some story of how their family members got them put into mental hospital wards

[anon1466656]

I understand and appreciate what you say. I was in a similar situation, as you say. The realisation of it as a medical situation — it’s a very very big step. I hope everything works out for you brothers, honestly I do, if I had never experience this - I wouldn’t never appreciate just how strange, and hurtful the entire thing can put you through. Trauma without a basis of external reality - it really is something. May we be all be protected

[anon1466656]

My regret till this day, is leaving the physics programme. When I noticed it as schizophrenia originally it was whilst I was thinking of a circle idea for ontology - I wrote everything down in plain language and wanted to learn maths to prove it all - an Icelandic study suggested in the British medical journey that psychosis risk and mathematical ability go hand in hand or correlate. This coincidence gives me confidence … we. And everyone reading this - is not stupid. In fact, they have incredibly capacity and ability —- we just aren’t prioperly rehabilitated into society enough.

In the case of original poster. I have no doubt your medical background or scientific Ability played a big role in your recovery. I hope. God willing. My younger ability for science and physics- does something similar for me

[Joker]

My first episode I was 17, and I was in trouble with the law and was involved in drugs.

I ended up in a forensic Mental Hospital, and the people in there were proper ■■■■■■ up. One of the other patients sexually assaulted me, and they moved me to a community hospital. I don’t remember much of it apart from being forcibly medicated with the police and nurses

I took AP’s for about 2 years until I was 19, and I got clean from the drugs.

When I went to University in 2010, I was doing well, but the psychosis came back in my second year mildly, and then by year 3 it was out of control at times. I still managed to graduate, but within weeks of collecting my certificate on that stage I was hospitalised once again

I came to after a few weeks, and they told me I had Schizophrenia.

When they discharged me to community services, I told them all to leave me alone. I had no support for two years, and my medications made me very overweight

That’s when I joined this forum to find out more in 2015.

Safe to say when I found out it was med side effects that made me fat and tired all the time, I flipped and quit the meds cold turkey.

Repeat that last paragraph about 8-9 times between 2015-2018 with the multiple coercive hospital stays

Then I found Amisulpride, and apart from prolactin, this drug agrees with me, and I have been psychosis free 95% of the time to put a number to it.

Now I am trying to reduce this medication to a non-acute dose, and I gave the doctor little choice in the decision.

I am now medium risk of self harm, neglect and vulnerable according to the letter I just got from clinic a few weeks ago :-/

Anyway. Now in 2020, we identified that I have an anxiety disorder, which is being treated with Benzos and Pregabalin. I have a diagnosis of ASD 1 since May 2020 and basically medically things have not been this settled for a very long time

Sorry for the long post, but it has taken years of fighting back, and trying to get better treatment

I feel I have recovered from psychosis, but I am also aware of the risk of coming down on my med Amisulpride. I do not want this to take months, but rather weeks.

I want to be on the lowest possible dose, and not just left on an acute dosage.

Spoke to the chief pharmacist in my county yesterday, and she did also share my concerns of raised prolactin, and the long term exposure resulting in more risk of osteoporosis

I will be having to take 5mg of Abilify for this now, so I will try that

To anyone at the start of their journey with this ■■■■, keep an eye on this thread, as you might be able to save yourself from some of the painful process to recovery

[ajassat]

We share many things. Before medical school I was a physics nerd . me and my best friend, used to ace all the classwork in physics and maths and we ventured into learning about Quantum mechanics and lots of other interesting mathematics - we were also the first in our group to learn Calculus before it was formally taught to us

I used to see the immense beauty in mathematics and physics, but since the illness and being put on medication, I can no longer appreciate the beauty of mathematics - it just seems like numbers and symbols on a piece of paper - that special ability to see the connections and intuition behind concepts had disappeared

This is something dear to my heart - nothing gave me joy like learning physics or mathematics and appreciating the beauty of the concepts

[Rosette]

All my life I feel I was pretty weird though I thought everyone was like that. I had tactile and olfactory hallucinations growing up. I think I also had some delusions too. I traveled a lot as a child but did most of my traveling as a young adult. I got into Pre med somewhere in Europe at the age of 16. I got some awards and felt really good. I was the top of my class and I barely ever studied. My first year in med school I got a 4. something gpa and qualified for a scholarship on merit. I was really doing well till I was not. I got really bad prodromal symptoms and was struggling a lot. I had severe panic attacks, I could barely breathe in public, I had anxiety and really bad obsessions. I could barely read, pay attention in class or understand anything.

I failed my pharmacology course and so I had to take a summer course in Vermont. That’s when I really wanted to kill myself, I never could read anything but I managed to pass the course. I got back and my uni wanted me to take an oral exam again the next semester which I failed. I could barely remember the hard questions I was being asked. I felt like there was nothing but a fog in my mind. I think they failed me because they were jealous of me or hated me or were racists. I think strongly that they were racists. I got expelled for failing the exam even though I had a 3. something gpa.

I ended up transferring my credits to the Caribbean and graduated last year with my MD. Now I have to get a license to practice in the US or somewhere else maybe but idk, I may do something else with my life. I regret not having sex with all the men I was attracted to (especially the ones I was obsessed with). I think I was too conservative and now I feel sexually unsatisfied and often have strange sexual hallucinations, delusions and intrusive thoughts. I have been really holding on to God more now than ever, it helps to think there’s something greater than me out there. It got me through some of the toughest symptoms I had no matter how perverted and sickening.