And I realize it may be a matter of a tormented conscience but at the same time the sz is powerless before it. An outside influence is needed but I was a child and it I couldn’t have been the one to be the influence. How frustrating it was to know and yet be as unable to help mother as she was unable to help herself.
My mother is UDX Bpolar and my father is UDX SZA I never knew this until I got older. I was always mad at them as a child and hated their guts. But now I see how complicated life was for them both.
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I’m gonna be heartbroken if my mom ever has mental problems. Her mother died of Alzheimer’s, I’d hate to see my mom start to fade like my grandmother did. My mom is so lively and kind, and logical. She’s my favorite person in the whole world. I am glad she had me at 20 so I’ll have her in my life for a long time. She mentioned doing a will recently and leaving her car to me and I was like, if you die I’m not gonna be worried about a car, I’m gonna be devastated. Hopefully she has many good years to come!
My stepdad has delusions and anger issues but he refuses to go to a psychiatrist because he takes it as an insult. I really wish he’d go in, but that’s a separate matter.
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Yeah, once I got a little older myself and I know a little about the world or life, it makes me appreciate my parents lives so much more. To put it bluntly, I couldn’t raise a family, I couldn’t work 40 hours a week and handle all the responsibility. I mean I grew up in my parents household and I took everything they did for granted. I’m my fathers son but I couldn’t handle all the adult sh*t on a day to day basis that he did. And almost as important, is that he did a lot of fun and cool stuff! And traveled and did a lot of other stuff!
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