Reasons why I think I'm faking

When I was being evaluated I thought I was faking–sort of–but unlike people here I didn’t share that with my psychologist. Isn’t part of faking not discussing that you think you’re faking? Because that’s what I did. I didn’t discuss. Most people here who think they’re faking share it with other people, including their pdocs. I didn’t because I was scared of being “found out.”

If you were faking it, you’d know it.

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I feel like I did know it. But sort of question it now because of everything I’ve been through. But I’m wondering now if what I’m thinking is not delusional after all, especially if I was faking. I feel like my psychosis was brought on from the trauma of being a terrorist.

The ideas you have shared in the past point to the fact that you are not faking it:

Your boyfriend is the devil
Your relatives are clones
Your going to be taken to N Korea and given plastic surgery to become a dictator

These are all delusions and point to the fact that your psychosis is real.
There are a number of people on this site that have said that they think that they are faking or have faked it…there is yet to be one whom I believe actually did/are.


But my boyfriend is the devil. The Pope says it’s real.

Also me going to North Korea is connected to my boyfriend being the devil.

Even if you believe in the devil. Why do you think, out of the billions of people in the world, you just happen to be the one whose boyfriend is the devil. What is the likelihood of that?
What supernatural abilities has your boyfriend demonstrated?

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He has agents and emissaries. So he might not be the devil but my boyfriend the fallen angel is an agent of his.

I see that you have edited your post …you originally were claiming that he had clones that could be in more than one place at once. Now you’ve changed your post…It seems to me that you are not sure what you believe. It seems to me that you’re just guessing and making up scenarios in your head.

I did my research so I’m not making it up.

Well, I’m not going to argue the point with you back and forth, over and over again. So I guess I’ll just leave your thread…but you definitely are delusional. I hope you can one day break out of this delusion.

I miss you.


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lol. I’m still checking out the board now and then. Did you want to talk about something else?

Sure. Not sure what though. I’m on a new medication Latuda. It seems to quiet down my fears of hell and my general fears. I feel like such a fake ■■■■■.

You aren’t a fake. I’m sure you believe the things you say. They just don’t make any sense if you examine them rationally. I hope Latuda works for you.

Yes I don’t feel fake about that. I just feel like I faked in my past. How can I think more rationally about this? About all that I describe?

I don’t know that I can answer that for sure. It’s difficult for me to tell you how to think
.Medication worked on my delusions after some time. I use to believe alot of crazy
stuff when I was psychotic. Maybe your switch to Latuda will help some. Do you talk to a Pdoc or therapist/psychologist about your beliefs? What do they say if you do?

They told me anything is possible but it’s very unlikely that the things I fear will happen to me.

The thing about my boyfriend being the devil was all from visions I had–nothing concrete besides him telling me he is a fallen angel. But he watches a lot of TV shows including the one called Lucifer.

I also thought my dad was God when he came to my room in the hospital.

I think my psychosis was caused by the trauma of me being a terrorist. So that’s what still bugs me. It’s hard to tell what is real.

Well I suppose anything is possible but some of the things you talk about are near the realm of impossibility. For example the technology to make you look exactly like Kim Jong-un doesn’t exist.

I don’t believe that. Psychosis is caused your mental illness, as it was for me. For me, Ap’s were able to knock those beliefs out of me without any therapy. But it’s harder for some people to let go. There are alot of people on here with treatment resistant schizophrenia where there current meds aren’t doing the trick. Clozapine seems to work for some. Hopefully your Latuda switch will help you make some progress.

By the way…why would you stay with your boyfriend if you believe he’s the devil? Seems like an odd choice. Doesn’t seem like he’s very good for your mental health.

I feel attached to him. I know this makes me sound like a bad person and that worries me because I don’t want to be bad. I also feel like he could protect me. But now after you explained the one in 7 billion chance I think he might not be the devil. So thank you for that.

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