Really struggling with my ED right now

TW eating disorder talk

I’ve been struggling bad with my Bulimia for the last 6 months. It’s caused a number of health issues and recently I had a seizure at work and when they found out about my Bulimia it’s like they stopped looking for answers and just assumed that was why. My electrolytes were out of wack is what they said and I was dehydrated.

Anyway today I’m really struggling. Just binged and now I’m super hard fighting the urge to make myself throw up. I just called a friend then went for a walk but I just got back and I want to shower but I’m afraid I’ll purge in the shower. Does anyone have positive ED recovery distraction tips?

That’s it I can’t hold out anymore I’m gonna take a shower

I just purged I didn’t even make it to taking a shower. I feel so defeated

I watched ALOT of happy people eating on YouTube. Some of them were boarderline binging. EMDR technique… I had to force myself to like food again. Some of them are triggering, but it was worth the try.

Now I can eat food and have better appetite. I can cook now also.

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I’m sorry @Hanna_Foxx . I saw your post earlier but I have zero experience with eating disorders and did not know what advice to give you.

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I still have hugs left. Here’s yours:

(((huuuuuuug)))

There’s always tomorrow and you’ve got the right attitude, you’ll get there!

:heart:

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Sorry to hear that @Hanna_Foxx

I hope you can overcome it.

It is extremely difficult to avoid binges. But I like to believe you’ve got it in you to get there.

Don’t feel too bad about today because it won’t help.

Just look on and try not to do it again.

I also had a binge, (yesterday)

But today is a new day, we are young making it easier for us to let our bodies revover

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It’s okay thank you @Bowens
@velociraptor thank you for the hug

I really need to go back to therapy I just don’t know my availability with trying to find new jobs and everything with working interviews.

Sigh I feel so guilty

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Hey, you know what the problem is. You’re willing to work towards a fix although it probably won’t happen as fast as you want (it never does). You’re also putting all the other building blocks in place. I know you’re feeling down and like you’ve failed, but I’m seeing someone well along the path to recovery and who is doing a bang up job. I think you should be giving yourself a well-earned pat on the back. Really.

:heart:

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Nope I just purged even more in the shower I am no where near recovery :disappointed_relieved: I wish there was like an eating disorder hotline or something. The only one I know of is EST and closes at like 8pm

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I really hope you start feeling better. I left the box of (((hugs))) open for you. Take as many as you need.

:heart:

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I just really don’t want to slip up and make this effect my mental health more than the ED. My depression and suicidal thoughts and self harm have been good for about 6 months now and as far as SZA symptoms go they are few and far between I’d hate to end up in the hospital for my ED after doing so good for so long. My dad says I need to be stable for a year without being in the hospital before I consider adding college classes with full time employment and I think he’s right. I don’t want to set myself back yet again

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