Realizing I have no idea what my child is doing, again

[Charles_Foster]

We just received our annual “baby book” from the daddies.

Every year they make a picture book of all his travels and significant life events.

I cherish each one because I know the year where he’s too grown up for baby books is coming.

We stay in very good touch so we generally know what’s going on,

But getting the picture book really got me in the feels, as usual.

He’s been to like thirteen countries this past year.

Just to visit, just for culture, personal enrichment.

They casually mentioned in their last text that they were going to see the Northern Lights for five days in Iceland.

I think all of that is great.

But it kind of forces me to realize, once again, I have no idea what my own child is doing, ever.

It’s a deep pull in your very soul.

However, it’s not like I didn’t know it was going to be like this.

The life his daddies have provided for him is above and beyond what I ever could have wanted.

And I was VERY PICKY when it came to his parents.

So it’s really saying a lot.

Expectations were high.

I just can’t help but feel a little maternal force making me feel like I’m not doing enough.

It’s very complicated.

[Turtle44]

That has to be hard sorry @Charles_Foster

[Blossom]

That’s rough, but it’s great that the dads are including you, to an extent! Going through the effort to send you an annual baby book is very thoughtful of them. You said it gets you in the feels. I hope those feels are not too painful. Sounds like a complicated situation, but you are strong. You’ve handled this whole situation very well, since his birth, just going off of everything I’ve seen you post about it.

[Schztuna]

That is awesome that his parents are including you in your kiddo’s life and sharing things with you.

I’m sure it must bring up some tough emotions, for sure. But if anything, I hope it also brings you comfort knowing your child is loved by many people and is cared for tremendously.

Wishing you well @Charles_Foster

[Ninjastar]

Sounds like he is having a stellar life. Once he is old enough for his own phone, he might start facetiming you independently, or sending stupid dog memes, or playing Roblox with you or something. He is still very little.

I don’t really know what it is like on the other side of things. But I do know that Starlet is incredibly fortunate to be able to maintain a relationship with his birth mom, and that your son is fortunate to be able to maintain one with you.

[Ninjastar]

Sorry, getting all emotional again. But I hope you fully appreciate what a rare and powerful gift you all have given him by letting him grow up in a world where he has no mysteries about his roots, and his origins are not treated like a shameful secret. He is growing up thinking his life is perfectly normal, and that is going to be a major benefit once the teenage angst years hit. Not all birth parents would be able to handle the constant reminders of their child. You went above and beyond with recognizing your own challenges as a potential full time mom, you went above and beyond when finding him parents, and you continue to go above and beyond with keeping the lines of communication open. I know a lot of people in your life judge you negatively for those things, and I would prefer to give them all a mandatory course in child development so they can learn just how pigheaded they are being about that. But instead I am just going to keep reminding you that it is amazing.

[Charles_Foster]

Thank you, @Ninjastar, I appreciate that.

[Andrey]

Dunno what to say, not having kids of my own.

Wishing yours a wonderful childhood and life as a whole, and may you stay a part of it to the extent that you so wish.