I like to think of my medicine as a safety net. Lately I’ve been having the down and out feelings alongside my diagnosed feelings. I was able to deal with it when I was simply down and out, but since I’ve been diagnosed I’ve had terrible frail feelings, like a dumb horror movie or something. No, like getting wasted and then watching a dumb horror movie then burning some money cause the horror movie told me so. My symptoms have been chronically and progressively getting worse, but nobody seems to care. It feels like they are making me frail to try out illnesses on me. That’s not even how I feel, it’s reality, they put in motion things to get what they want. And a warning to the nay sayers out there. They always get what they want. I don’t see how my having the flu, horrible headache, muscle soreness, all the depression symptoms, incontinence, and bad luck on top of it all could benefit anyone. There is no sense in it. And I don’t care if you think my sickness benefits you. There now the man in the mirror feels dumb too. The phrase “Strung Out” has never made less sense.
I just want to be a decent citizen. I don’t want to deal with sickness and problems all the time. If you think the “modern world” works a certain way, then I don’t want to be a part of your “modern world.” I could care less about the medical field. This may sound cold because of the folks suffering out there. But I have neither the time nor willpower to navigate hospitals or modern medicine. So if you have an interest in hospitals or technology you probably are looking at it wrong too. Heck, I’ve got an interest in hospitals and technology and I still can’t find my way around their labyrinth.
I guess it really bugs me when I, and those around me, say things that don’t make sense.
And it really bugged me when I was watching a baseball game with my family and I s@#$ myself. Not just the runs. But full horse s@#$ in my good pants.
Just tell me that they will develop a cure for sickness.